JustGrinding, That is terrific. I found that happening with me also, but could you please elaborate more on this?
It might help me big. Thanks already.
I think it's a function of time and emotional strain. I went through an extended period of extreme emotional stress as I uncovered the truth about my wife's adultery. Now, I'm in a prolonged, protective state of emotional withdrawal. It's comfortable and peaceful for me.
As I discard the emotional filter and view things rationally , it's clear that my wife is not the person I thought she was. She simply cannot be trusted. I think much less of her than I did before, and the intimate, romantic love I felt for her has shriveled away.
The most prevalent feelings I have for her is pity and a profound sense of sadness for what she's done to herself and the resulting consequences. In truth, I'm not the damaged party here: my loyalty, fidelity, and integrity are intact. She, on the other hand, has failed as a wife and mother at the most basic level.
I imagine my wife with her POSOM, or with someone else, and I really don't care anymore. The triggers don't have as much effect; every memory of her is tempered with her betrayal. I stay with her now because it suits me for social and economic purposes.
I've found I can live without love. I discovered that, in reality, I have for many, many years.