I was on another forum here at TAM a while back, although I took some advice, I did not take all.
Back - I found out my wife was having an EA back in April, worked on things (got trickle truthed and lied to the whole time) but moved out in August due to the lies and breaking boundary rules I set for her.
I have been in IC (she refused to attend MC) with a therapist and friend and they are both telling me it's not my place to expose and to take the high road.
Since moving out, I have not attempted any R because wife and her former boyfriend (who she has not seen in 22 years) are still in contact. While they are still in contact, there is no way I am considering R.
I know now, I should have exposed immediatley - now, as time has passed, I feel so much better about my future - I am less anxious and actually optomistic about things (although I still miss my daughter and dog immensly).
Question - With where I am now, how I view my future (D), should I expose - expose to my wife's family (my wife's family thinks I aboned the home) and the OMW? I want to - thats the vengeful side of me (I want him to suffer like I have). OR, let it go and not have to deal with the mess of it over again? I know if I do expose to the OMW, my wife will be angry, (Honestly, I do not care about that) but I will have to deal with it on some certain level.