Is recovery possible from the thought of infidelity?
One of the issues my wife and I are dealing with is the thought I committed adultery. I cant prove it or disprove it either way, as I lied about the evidence she found. So, I have lost her trust amongst other things, and due to our rocky issues with my verbal abuse over the years that has caused her to lose her heart to me, is there anything I can do to save this marriage? I have another thread which explains more of the other issues and details onto her evidence found. But, this topic is to see if we can get through this serious issue I caused.
here is a portion of what I posted in the other thread, as far as evidence
"Things have turned for the worst here. All me and I dont think recovery is going to happen.
To make a long story short, she found a couple things that point to affairs. Hard evidence. One was two escort contacts in my email. I did email them, but didnt follow through.
And second, an ****** ******* subscription for credits. This allowed you to contact others. I did make the profile, and did buy the credits, but never contacted anyone. A year later, I receieved and email notice wanting to know if i was still around and I logged in and paid to cancel the membership. I never ever did anything wrong. But, Doing what I did is just as bad as going through with it, in her eyes. Rightfully so as she cant prove or disprove it. Lies are apart of this on my part, so her trust in me is very poor. I totally support her in the way she feels.
I think I have some sort of issue with the feeling of getting caught, or pushing the envelope on whats right or wrong in this aspect. for two years I lived on the barracks 6000 miles away from my wife, and the immaturity of myself got the best of me.
I can honestly say I did not have any affair during my entire marriage. I know I can feasibly prove it, but it is true.
Regardless the damage is done.
If there is any constructive advise, I am all ears."