Re: Suspicion and Reconciliation
Ive been going through this crap for 5 years...2 years of seperation (on and off) and 3 years in R. I can tell you that I always have doubts.
Last night my WH called me at 4:30 said one of his co-workers from LA was coming through town and called him to eat dinner with him. This has happened before. I said ok but once I hung up the phone I automatically wondered if he was lying, is he really having lunch with the guy, is he really going with someone else, etc. The truth of the matter is that unless I plan on driving over to verify myself then I have to let it go and try to trust him.
I have been a worrier for years!! Something finally clicked in me (just recently)and made me realize that I cant stop it from happening again, I cant control him or his actions. Either Im going to continue to live in this hell of constant worry and speculation or Im going to let it go and know that if there is something I should know God will let me know, some way, some how. In order to find happiness within yourself you have to let it go and trust that you will find out if there is something for you to know.
Its a long road and its hard. The first few times he left the house alone I was a mess. I would sit there and constantly wonder where he was, what he was doing, if he was being bad, etc. Its only hurting you by doing that. You deserve better!
Baby steps....3 years later Im still taking them! Good luck!