Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Citizen of the World
Re: Pregnancy and evening out the parental sacrifice
Yes, from my stbxw's perspective, everything happens TO her. She is just an innocent "victim" of circumstance. I was a controlling, paranoid, insecure husband who she outgrew. At least, that's HER version.
For background: Here is a copy of the email (in which she tried to retract her confession of her PA the morning after I contacted the POSOM). Remember, she confessed to this 2009 PA AFTER we had separated and she moved out this past fall. When you read it - pay attention to where she says she didn't realize it would hurt more people than me and our children. Isn't that wonderful? To be more concerned about hurting the POSOM vs your husband and children?:
I did not have a physical affair with "POSOM". I made that up. Remember the context in which this "confession" was obtained from me. On the day of the ***** banquet, you had spoken with your lawyer and suggested to me that we could speed up the divorce process if there was a physical relationship. I stupidly "confessed" without thinking, hoping it would in fact speed up the process, without understanding that it would hurt not just you and our kids but also other people who are not even part of this equation.
I made it up because I thought it would make it easier for you to let go of me.
I wanted to have a physical relationship with "POSOM" but never went through with it because I had my breasts done in March 2009 and the scars from that surgery was horrible. I was too self conscious to let anyone near it.
I have had a lot of time to reflect on our situation in the last few weeks. What happened between us is very sad. I changed from the young, insecure, bewildered 23 year old into a more confident women with different needs. But somehow, those needs were not being met and I did irreparable damage by looking outside the marriage to satisfy those needs. Call it vanity, mid-life crisis, narcissism - I took the wrong path.
What is happening now is also very sad. Tragic. I know I am responsible for it and I am sorry. I am working on getting to a better place emotionally and I hope you will too.