Re: Not sure how to feel...
With the way my insecurity has been it would be pretty hard to be away from me for any length of time without me being suspicious, that's why I don't feel like there's anymore. The only times I am away from him is when I go to the gym or out to get groceries etc...and in that case he has our 2 daughters with him. We both work at the same company in the same department and we know a lot of the same people, so if something were happening there I'm pretty sure I'd hear about it?
We share a cell phone and it's only pay as you go, used for emergencies only. As I stated earlier, I already have all his online passwords for email, facebook, his bank acc'ts etc...
He's offered to take a lie detector test for me but I'm not sure how to go about getting one. I told him I thought they were expensive, to which he replied that it would be worth it if it would make me believe him.
I'm positive that things can be worked out, it will just take time for me to grieve this. He lost his license right before the hooker (for drunk driving) and he has said that waking up knowing he had been with the hooker made him absolutely disgusted and realized he had hit rock bottom...that's when I noticed a change in him. He stopped drinking, we both started a gym together and lost a lot of weight, we went to individual and couples councelling. Things were better for the most part. I had an issue with him viewing porn because of my insecurity issues...and he had said he would stop that, but hasn't. I'm okay with the porn now though.
When I go back to look at the original message sent by the 3sum girl, it went something like this:
"Hey, noticed you're from _______ too and my friend and I are looking for a guy to try a "pyramid" encounter with, would you be interested"
to which he replied "No, if you looked at my profile you would see that I am married"
then she said something like "Oh, I can't see that due to your privacy settings."
Then my husband starts asking why she hooks up with random strangers she doesn't even know and has she done this before and yadda yadda...tells her he's at a low point in his life (we have been pretty irritable with each other lately) and that he'd have to think about it.....he later sends her an email saying no, that he doesn't want to destroy his family.
The hardest part I'm dealing with is how dirty and gross I feel that he slept with me probably days after being with the hooker...I just feel really nasty.