I am new here. I've been going through the worst grief of my life over the past few weeks. I saw this sight today and it helped a bit so here goes.
My boyfriend and I have been the best of friends since we were 12. We've been there for each other through break ups. My divorce from an abusive husband. The birth of my child and my being a single parent. Just the worst catastrophes 2 people could face.
At some point our relationship began to change and we became more than friends. We were serious about each other. We moved together. Took vacations. His family accepted my child as if she was their own, especially since everyone knows my ex husband had left the picture and we haven't heard from him in years.
I can honestly say up until 2 weeks ago I thought everything was great. We were a family. I noticed a mutual friend of ours hung around a bit to much. I told my bf I thought she liked him and I didn't feel comfortable around her. There was just something. On 2 occasions he insisted I was insecure and nothing was wrong. I fell back and tried to be a good friend to both of them.
I always looked on his phone for his internet but suddenly I saw more and more messages from her. Asking about our sex life and way to much personal info. When I asked him about it he said she had gotten in some trouble with a guy she was with and needed advice. Well that guy happened to be mine.
We were on a trip and she came with us and some other friends. He was so nasty to me. I told him i felt something was wrong. Cried my heart out to him. He yelled at me. The first time in 12 years he's ever raised his voice to me.
I told him I wanted to go he said no. I'm a miserable person and he didn't realize how different we were. Well he left me in the car for hours while everyone else had a great time. I prayed for guidance and help and suddenly I saw her phone and found messages they sent each other.
I confronted him and he told the truth. I don't know i just lost it. I fought him and made him get the children together at 11 pm to go back home. I walked to her and she just said sorry. I tried to walk away but I couldn't. I cussed her out and beat her up. The betrayal I felt was just so overwhelming.
She had been in my house. Around my child. Pretending to be my friend. All along she was having sex with him and he was having sex with me. My best friend!!!!
To say I've lost my mind over the past few weeks is an understatement. I can't stop thinking aobut it. He has apologized and begged me not to leave. His famiily has begged me not to leave. I don't want to but the pain I feel is so overwhelming. The person I trusted with my life betrayed me horribly.
To make matters worse the girl lives right next door. She is since moving away and has done all she can cause she feels so bad. She claims she knew he loved me and she just lost herself for 1 week when it happened. He's ashamed. His family is really religous and they know.
I just don't know what to do. I can't focus at work. I cry myself to sleep at night. He thinks I should move on and lets work on it. How he'll never do it again. How he hates himself. I realize that even good people make mistake. But I don't understand how the greatest person to me could be the worst person. How he could love me and be with some one else. How he could hurt me.
I think about it all day. I'm at a loss. He doesn't understand how I feel. I could just die from the agony. How do I ever trust him again? I love him yes but I don't want to hurt anymore. I wanna get through it but how do you do it? How does it get better? When does it get better? The rage and pain in me is just ridiculous. Please help me. I'm losing my mind.
Please help. Thank you so much.