Need a man's opinion

onlyme · 01-26-2008, 09:45 AM

I am the head of a community group. Recently I invited a man from a neighboring town to speak at one of our meetings. We had a nice chat afterwards and exchanged email addresses. He emailed me a couple of days later to thank me for inviting him, and in his email, he made the remark "when you smile, I lose my train of thought" and a couple of other flirty remarks.

Is he hitting on me? He's married - and so am I. I'm not sure how to handle this or respond.

draconis · 01-26-2008, 11:01 AM

.

draconis

onlyme · 01-26-2008, 03:07 PM

So, you do think he is definitely hitting on me?

emate1209 · 01-26-2008, 05:04 PM

Hi OnlyMe,

Like with any written comments it's always open to different interpretations and perspectives.

First impression is that he's flirting with the intention to see if it can go somewhere. Like with all men some make flirtatious comments with intentions to go the next step. Others just make a "complimentary remark" to just simply flirt around and that's where it'll end.

I agree with Draconis that you should invite him out for a coffee or lunch and truly find out what he wants. That way you can make the correct judgment about the situation and how you should react to it.

It's too hard to call from an email I think.

Let us all know how you go.

Cheers

Chris H. · 01-27-2008, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onlyme

"when you smile, I lose my train of thought"

Sounds overly flirtatious... I'd keep a healthy distance out of respect for my marriage.

onlyme · 01-27-2008, 03:17 PM

That's what I thought. A remark like that couldn't be anything but a come on. And coming from a married man, I'd say he's not that happy with his marriage. But I am!

SX2BME · 01-27-2008, 03:47 PM

As someone who is losing his wife to an affair that began as 'just some fun and witty email banter' delete the email and never contact him again if you are happy in your marriage.

lostinatchison · 01-27-2008, 10:30 PM

as i am going throw this right now i will tell you to not react on this. a guy got my girlfriends cell number and started texting her. it was just how are you and how is your day. then one day he started flirting with her and one thing led to another. i ended up finding out about it. we split up and he was not really interested in her. now our family is no more and our children are on the worst end. unles you are willing to throw away your marrage for a chance with this then i would simply not act on it.

sarahdale24 · 02-03-2008, 01:10 AM

When I first read the post I didn't know you were married, I'm no guy, but if your happy in your marriage you don't need this. Delete and then never think of it again.

losttrust · 04-14-2008, 05:48 PM

I am a man, and there is abslolutly nothing wrong with a bit of flirt as long as it remains so, it kinds of make you feel alive and brings this little flame up, like the one when you first go married, but I would be careful with this feeling cause it is the one that will make you do irrational things. So my advice to this one would be that if you are truly happy, then leave it be and enjoy this little feeling and should talk to your husband about it, and if you have a really good communication with him and if he is not the jealous type, he will appreciate the honesty and will actually be kind of proud of you for telling him and it will make him feel kind of proud in a sence that his wife "still got it" and that she is hot...

that was my taught on it...

GAsoccerman · 04-15-2008, 12:30 AM

As a Man, I am extremely flirtatious, and usually mean no Harm when I do flirt, plus most of my female friends know I am harm less, even when I tell them they look smoking hot in that outfit.

BUT I make it clear from the start I am a goofball and I like to flirt, and to never ever take me SERIOUS...IE we are never hitting the sheets.

Establish a boundry, tell him, thanks for the compliment and your husband says the same thing. Then simply discuss how much you love your husband....He should get the idea politely and fall back on the flirtatious behavior, unless he is pond scum.

But Tell him point blank, the compliments are fine, but do not expect anything, and if he wants to go to lunch, that you would LOVE to meet his wife and see when your husband can join you.

He should get the idea....If not ignore him, but something like this needs boundries or you need to be blunt.

sweetp101 · 04-24-2008, 11:03 AM

This could be just a harmless flirt. But if you are happy in your marriage, keep your distance. If you ignore him, he will probably go away. Have you scheduled him to speak at other events?