Thank you again for all of you help and no offense taken with anyone here, I may have worded things wrong when I said Church. It is more than that it would be faith and a Christian lifestyle. I know that Biblically I have grounds for divorce but in a strange way I wanted to save it because I love her. I did force her to tell her Mother and father and to my shock her mother pretty much blamed me as well. I could not believe what I was hearing, they are trying to convince me not to tell the kids. Her mother actually threatened to tell them everything she knew about me or my family if I told them. I could not believe what I was hearing, her mother told me that what she had done in no worse than any other mistakes we had made in our marriage. I also think that one big disadvantage I may have that may or may not be unique is the fact that I have 4 months of their daily conversations. I not only have the imagination of the affair but have a actual four month window, complete with times she had sent him nude shots of body parts while with the family on family events. She sent him something on Christmas Eve with me and my three children in the other room. She has no remorse but her and her mother only want to keep it a secret and move on. It is strange but they are almost looking at this as if she had backed into my truck, yes I would be a little upset but would get over it quickly and move on. Very strange, if something don't change my mind I plan on telling my children tonight and filling for divorce in the morning. Thank you all again for your advice and words of encouragement.
I am sorry you are here. I am just getting caught up with your posts. I was married 29 years when I caught my wife. I did not want my marriage to end either but you have to take steps that your wife and mother in law are not going to like.
1. You must expose the A. Your kids must know your family and hers. You must expose the OM as well to their wives and or GF's
2. File for D, you do not have to go through with it but she needs to know you are serious.
3. Tell her to go get an STD test. She will tell you they used protection. It is a lie but tell her everything about the past is a lie why should I believe you know.
4. Go get yourself checked for STD's asap.
5. Get her into IC and you go to IC as well. Not your Minister. I am a christian as well but these guys are not trained in dealing withte issues you are going to deal with. Your wife has an addiction and you are going to have depression and stress like never before.
6. Tell your wife to write a no contact letter now and you are going to send it.
7. Any violation of those points even a little bit. You take her to Moms and drop her off at the door.
I dealt with the texts the lying, the pictures. Things my wife would never say to me or send to me. The mind movies. You have to be a real strong man right now. These things will hurt. I do not care if your kids see you cry but do not let her.
The only way you can build a new marriage and life is to be willing to dump the old one. The woman you married is dead and gone. Your marriage is dead and gone.
You may be able to build a new one but you have to take these steps. Most of us did not and it causes more pain for everyone.
Your IC, a christian one is fine but make sure they are not your minister and they are trained in this sort of thing.
Be a strong man for your family.