Re: My husband had sex with a prostitute. Now what?
PHT is right. If he's not doing everything... EVERYTHING you ask... he's not serious about R.
I thought about my situation long and hard last night (it's similar to yours... prostitutes, sex forums, massage parlors, sexting) and this is what I came up with, which directly applies to you:
You love him. You would have loved him until the day you die. You gave your life to him. You trusted him. But HE KEEPS HURTING YOU!!! He has done it over and over and over again! It's SO hard to love someone who keeps hurting you!
I stuck in it for 6 mo after DDay becuase: 1) the initial shock rendered my thought process in a state of chaos and I needed time ot digest and comprehend what he did, and 2) I thought I was a strong enough person to possibly R and get over it. Except he did it again. And again. He continued to hurt me. He continued to put me last place to his friends, his parties, and even his cell phone. I came in LAST PLACE. He always put himself first, then came everyone else, then came his possessions, then came me and the marriage. There is a word for that... its "SELFISH."
I swear, there's only so much a person can take before they have to step back and protect themselves from this person who keeps hurting them. I am now that person. I will not R with my WH. I am done. He has abused me and even though I love him beyond belief, I cannot take another second of this hurt. I'll have to start over and find someone who won't hurt me like this.
I suggest you think long and hard about what you can tolerate and what you can't tolerate. Sure, change is scary as h*ll, but if you're ever going to be happy again... if you're ever going to stop this pain... you pretty much have no choice. Change your plans.. your old life had him in it. Take him out and create a new life for yourself and your kids. Hang in there. It's an impossibly difficult process, but what doesn't kill you will make you stronger.
Last edited by Love2326; 03-12-2013 at 05:10 PM.