Originally Posted by Robsia
He's said he doesn't want her growing up resenting us for letting her think he was her father. He suggested maybe it was kinder in the long run to make it a clean break for everyone.
TBH we're both finding it really hard to let go of each other. A clean break would be better for US certainly. But is it best for my DD?
I don't know.
If the choice is between a clean break or he continues to be her father for the rest of the life....
It's better that he remains her father.
If he stops being her father you can expect her to grow up with all kinds of issues. Her pain will be worse than if he died. Why? Because her father chose to abandon her. At least with death it is not a choice.
Today I'm dealing with the issues caused by parents who abandon their children. My step daughter's mother walked out on them when the daughter was 7. She spent her years between when her mother walked out until the end of high school suicidal, angry and hurt. Then in her senior year she found drugs... that fixed her problems alright.
If you want to know how well that turned out read my new thread on the topic. Need help staying strong
Our prisons are filled with men and women whose father's walked out on them.
If you look at my step daughter, it's clear that a mother walking out has the same affect.
For your daughter's sake, do everything you can to keep him involved. He is probably confused by him being 'just the step father'. But to her he IS her father.