she is no longer pregnant...
I said I wanted to marry her before I knew all the stuff.
Its not that I dont want to do it anymore but It wont be done any time soon...
It's good to stay on hold.
Look. I've been married for a while now. I can tell you, definitively, that it doesn't get any easier. It only gets harder. And when it gets harder, feelings of love diminish.
It's hard for a couple to love and lust after each other when they have to worry about a mortgage, a couple of car payments, taxes, bills, home repair, etc. Stress is the lust killer. And you are in a very low-stress time of your life right now.
So, if she's entertaining thoughts for her ex, that's bad news. That means that she's REALLY going to be doubting your relationship once you've been married 10 years, with 2 kids and a struggling career. Your girlfriend is ripe for infidelity down the road.
Maybe this time, she only met her ex for coffee, a hug, and a quick peck. 10 years from now, she's that much more likely to be meeting him at a hotel, or worse, your house when you're at work.
Loyalty is one of the cornerstones of good marriage. It might be the most important ingredient. Your girlfriend has given you good reason to doubt her loyalty to you. For me, that would be a deal breaker.