Re: Help! Two Married People Having Affair
You held fire to your breast and thought you wouldn't get burned? There is no harmless, innocent way to commit adultery; not in the mind, not in the bed, not far away, not next door, not just one night, not for a long time. It's conduct that's harmful to a marriage, which is why it's forbidden in pretty much every culture.
I don't know what ill-consequences will come of this conduct but there will be some. It's illogical to assume otherwise. I don't see the benefit of telling your husband. He knew it would be difficult (nearly impossible) to maintain a marriage over several years over several continents, with the barest of contact between husband and wife. Under the circumstances, about the best either of you could have hoped for is that you would return to an intact marriage, not a great marriage, not a close, intimate marriage, but one that was legally intact. You and he both should have figured you'd have to basically court each other all over again upon your return. He faced the same temptations and loneliness you faced. Hopefully, he was stronger than you but if he wasn't you have lost all reason to complain. Get yourself checked out medically. Go home. Learn from the experience and don't repeat it. I'd suggest you find a job that allows you both to actually have a relationship if a marriage is what you both want. If you insist on this prolonged long-distance arrangement, accept the fact that adultery will very likely be part of it.