Just bought a key logger but scared to use it
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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 05-07-2013, 02:32 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Just bought a key logger but scared to use it

Hi, I posted here a couple of months ago. I just happened to look on my H's history and found porn sites and two dating sites. The porn sites were found under sites and the dating sites were under closed windows. My brother checked my router and it seems the porn sites were visited once but not the dating sites were not visited. The sites came up as pop ups. H has cheated in the past so I am trying to keep my eyes open and monitor.

There has been some behavior that makes me a little uncomfortable so I bought a key logger to recover pass codes but I am afraid to use it. It is bigger than I thought it would be and do not want to install any programs on his computer as I am not too computer savvy. If anyone reading has used one, can you give me some pointers? The instructions seem straight forward but as I have said I am not too computer savvy but I am trying to learn.
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Old 05-07-2013, 02:40 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Just bought a key logger but scared to use it

Do you have a computer that you can test it on first to see what is installed?

Please post the specifics of the keylogger (name, version, is it software, hardware, etc...) so if someone here has used it, they can guide you.
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Old 05-07-2013, 02:47 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Just bought a key logger but scared to use it

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Originally Posted by whatslovegottodowithit? View Post
Do you have a computer that you can test it on first to see what is installed?

Please post the specifics of the keylogger (name, version, is it software, hardware, etc...) so if someone here has used it, they can guide you.
If you're not tech savvy, you need to get at least an hour of undisturbed time on his computer. You don't need to be rushed. Make sure you disable his virus protection before you start, and follow the installation instructions. Don't forget to re-enable the virus protection when you finish.

You didn't say what kind of keylogger you got, but it's always a good choice to get the kind that has an internet log-in page (like webwatcher) to get access to his keystrokes and history; so that you don't have to check back on his computer, or rely on e-mails/texts to you that can be intercepted.
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Old 05-07-2013, 02:55 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Just bought a key logger but scared to use it

Thanks for the quick replies,
It is a USB key logger. The brand is SleuthGear Protection, model # KS4000 (I think that is the model number). I am afraid H will see it because it is kind of big and I think it would stick out. Although the area where he has everything hooked up is a big mess.
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Old 05-07-2013, 03:20 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Just bought a key logger but scared to use it

I saw your other post and that he is a doc. Make sure that his computer is not used for work, or you can be liable for legal actions in violation of several laws (being a doc it could be HIPAA and other violations regarding patient confidentiality if he uses the computer for anything work related). Just an fyi.
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Old 05-07-2013, 03:20 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Just bought a key logger but scared to use it

Personally i would run with a software keylogger.

I ran with one in the past, set the antivirus to ignore the specific directory and busted the other half in the very early stages on the PC.

Issue was a year or so later she simply moved on to doing it on the iphone. Nothing the wifi logger and iphone key logger didn't nab. I was a bit slower this time so it was much worse (naked pics traded etc).

Mind you I only ever stuck them on the devices when I noticed a change in behavior and that old gut feeling. Both times its been bang on.
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Old 05-07-2013, 03:37 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Just bought a key logger but scared to use it

Squekr, thanks for the FYI, I never thought of that. I just want his email password so I can track him on his iphone especially for those late night visits to the "hospital".
Some one on my other thread suggested I hire a PI but if nothing is found in a few weeks that doesn't mean nothing is happening. I would like a way to track him off and on until I have peace of mind or evidence.
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Old 05-07-2013, 03:48 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Just bought a key logger but scared to use it

The same caveats about the keylogger hold true for the email account if it is a work account or used for work as claims of privacy could be made in that case as well. I am just adding this fyi as lots of advice to "track" will be and is always given, but lots of times the possible legal issues that arise are not addressed Heck I have been playing detective for a while myself and wish I didn't keep having to.

I hope you find what you find is what you need (either the truth or nothing to set your mind at ease), but just wanted to give the little fyi as lots don't know the laws that are broken when they do these things. Most of the time it will amount to nothing and no legal actions are taken, but in the wrong situation and with an ugly D possibly pending, it could have a nasty outcome (as the laws are changing to protect invasions of this sort). If they give you the passwords and approve of your accessing their information, you are pretty much clear, but if you hack the information (even through guessing the passwords), it is still illegal and could have legal ramifications.
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Old 05-07-2013, 04:06 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Just bought a key logger but scared to use it

Umm...I use a keylogger as a backup for my passwords. If I come across information by accident that my spouse is up to something, I wasn't spying on her, just mere coincidence that she was a poor spouse and my password backup discovered it
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Old 05-07-2013, 04:07 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Just bought a key logger but scared to use it

Use the keylogger but don't tell him where you got the info from. And if there is anything to confront, uninstall the keylogger before you do. Legal ramifications have to be proven. I don't know how easy to prove, but as long as you are careful...
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Old 05-07-2013, 04:36 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Just bought a key logger but scared to use it

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Use the keylogger but don't tell him where you got the info from. And if there is anything to confront, uninstall the keylogger before you do. Legal ramifications have to be proven. I don't know how easy to prove, but as long as you are careful...
With windows, they have their own built in "mischief keyloggers" essentially. It is called a registry and you'd be surprised what it hides and reveals in the right hands. Even uninstalling programs doesn't always remove the telling signs that Windows leaves behind. Even if it is your own system the lines of legality are very grey. If it is a work related system, I wouldn't even play the game, as that is what the IT department people do for a living and they will find the evidence if they suspect (and sometimes when they don't). Of course, you might be safer with the hardware solutions that don't install on the system (of course you then have to deal with interception laws).
IMO better off to ask for the passwords and permission and if that request is met with refusal, move on as you have your answer.
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Old 05-07-2013, 05:03 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Just bought a key logger but scared to use it

What are you scared of?

If he finds out you can tell him that you haven't trusted him since he cheated on you and you know he's keeping things from you now so you're covering your a$$ by monitoring his actions. If he doesn't like it he can screw off.
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Old 05-07-2013, 08:02 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Just bought a key logger but scared to use it

The key logger I bought is about 2 inches long and I am afraid he will see it. I am not sure if something is going on right now but little things like not answering the phone or calling me back about 10 minutes after I call bother me because when we first started to R he was always answering my call or having someone answer for him if he was not able to. I know it is impossible to answer the phone every time it rings but that was one of the first things I noticed when his PA was occurring so it puts me on edge. Sorry for venting.
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Old 05-07-2013, 08:11 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Just bought a key logger but scared to use it

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Originally Posted by scorp79 View Post
Personally i would run with a software keylogger.

I ran with one in the past, set the antivirus to ignore the specific directory and busted the other half in the very early stages on the PC.

Issue was a year or so later she simply moved on to doing it on the iphone. Nothing the wifi logger and iphone key logger didn't nab. I was a bit slower this time so it was much worse (naked pics traded etc).

Mind you I only ever stuck them on the devices when I noticed a change in behavior and that old gut feeling. Both times its been bang on.
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Old 05-07-2013, 08:17 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Just bought a key logger but scared to use it

Ahh bluerunner...I have to admit I go to a Couple of well known porn sites sometimes and yes several of them have pop ups for dating sites. My worst fear is that my wife would see them and think I was trying out dating sites. So the evidence you described definitely does NOT mean he is using those sites. Now his porn use itself could be a problem if it is interfering with your intimacy, but I would definitely not jump to the conclusion that he is actually using dating sites.
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