bmd

two years ago i cheated on my wife.last year i told her all about it.since then we had seemed to be on the right road to healing and putting our marriage back together.but about a month and a half ago we had somewhat disturbing dreams that for some reason have sent us almost back to square 1.she dreamt about me and the ow, and i about her kissing a mysterious guy outside a restaraunt.that first week was hard as i'm not the greatest communicator in the world.but since then i have dramatically improved i think.i never told her exactly what my dream was about, because i feel its probably just cheaters guilt kicking me.if thats the case then its been kicking me in the teeth and leaving me terrified that she'll revenge cheat or take our 2 kids 5&2 and put me out.i've tried to convey my feelings on this matter, but do i really have room to say anything?i really am in love with my beautiful wife,and i really believe she will be my last.sometimes though i am suspect when she gets a text from her girlfriends.i dont know if its them or a routed message.again if i bring it up i will be reminded of who did what, and i'm tired of hearing about it.she is letting it go little by little,and says to just give her time,not to push her.i'm trying to back off,but dont know how far.also she has adrenal fatigue,which means her adrenal gland doesnt work right(always feel tired).i wish i could give her my energy to make her feel better.this means the sex has dwindled down to maybe twice a month.please share any advice or anyone with a similar story would greatly help me.

stillINshock

All I can say is that my H's EA happened a year ago and I'm still reeling and upset and feel empty sometimes and wondering why and wondering if i'll ever be able to fully get over it. Time, honesty, and just hugs and "i love you"s help me. As lame as that sounds. There's no easy path and no easy answer. When someone takes your core, there are no rules for pulling yourself together. We live with the choices we make and with the cards we are dealt.

foolz1

bmd, you made a really bad choice. Cheating deeply hurts a lot of people, and some never do recover. I would consider it to be the ultimate betrayal, and some people can't deal with it, so they begin a new life, either alone, or with someone else.

Cheating serves no purpose, other than to boost someone's ego. It rarely, if ever, "helps" a relationship. It is selfish and unfair to the cheated on spouse. I am not attempting to judge you, as this is only my opinion, but if your wife hangs in there, you should thank your lucky stars and never think of betraying her again.

Good Luck