Wife Cheating with Another Woman
My wife and I have been married for ten years and have two young kids. A few weeks back, I noticed my wife to be secretive. She changed passwords for her email and facebook and even regularly changed her phone PIN. From my investigation, I found out that before we got married, she had a relationship with a lesbian. This lesbian was her first love so it seemed. She hid this from me (later she told me that it was already the PAST). After we got married we moved to another country. While there we were busy with work and adjustments with the new environment. For the first five years our relationship was great. We had a great time. We normally held hands in public and we have been so sweet. However, during one of our visits in our country, I noticed that whenever we get into her friends in the mall she would remove her hands from mine and she did not even introduce me to her friends. When I asked her, she said she forgot. But it happened in other occasions until such time that I decided to stop being so sweet with her in public. That's when our feelings for each other started to erode. During that time, job back to another country demanded a lot of travel and I was always tired from too much demand from work. I seldom had sex with her. She seemed to be alright with it. I noticed though that we began to be a little 'cold' to each other especially when the kids came as we were busy taking care of them and at the same time work.
While we were in that country, my wife started communicating with her friends back home and they always talked about someone whose name I could not get. It appeared that my wife was still interested with her lesbian lover. She pestered her friends about the life and situation of the lesbian who from what I gathered became addicted to drugs and broke a few families by having affairs with married women. The lesbian has already reformed according to my sources.
Last year, I was temporarily posted in our country and I brought my family with me. A few days after arrival, my wife met with her friends together with her former lesbian lover. A few months later they started texting. A couple of months back, her friend had a get together at our house while I was on an overseas trip. The lesbian slept in our house with her other friends. Nothing happened. I found out that my wife invited her other friend to come to our house as an excuse for the lesbian to sleep in our house. IN other words, my wife manipulated the situation so that it will not be obvious for the maids at home. A few days after that, my wife started going out with the lesbian again. I found out that my wife is the one always asking the lesbian to go out and even paid for their movies and food. They watched movies together. From what I gathered they made out in the movie houses, car parks and at the house of the lesbian.
While this was happening the lesbian even attended one of the parties we hosted at home. I was introduced to her. I did not know the situation by then that by that time my wife and the lesbian were already into a monthlong affair. During that time, I remember my wife asking me to allow her to go out with her friends on an trip somewhere but I refused. I told her that we should go together as a family. She insisted that she should also have time with friends alone. I refused. I found later that she and the lesbian were planning on a trip together.
I discovered all of these from different sources and confronted by wife. She admitted and asked for forgiveness. At first she said it was just nothing. That they were just sending SMS regularly showing their care for each other. When I probed further, she admitted that she started to fall in love with the lesbian and that she was happy that I discovered it and that I puled her out. A few days later after the confrontation, we talked some more and I told her I'm trying to forgive her. That's the time she admitted that she already had sex with the lesbian several times. I said that I have to recover from this. She begged for my forgiveness. I love her so much so I told her that I've forgiven her. I'm still trying to cope. I gave her options - to stay with the marriage or get out. She does not want our marriage to break as according to her she loves me very much and she does not want the children to grow with their parents apart. She promised to be faithful and never do it again. When I pressed for the reason why she did it, she said that I was a bit cold and always busy and did not have time for sex. I felt bad and guilty that my shortcomings drove her to infidelity. She acknowledged that it was not an excuse and admitted that it's her mistake and promised to correct it. She said she already broke up with the lesbian.
She has changed a lot and never goes out on her own. We always go out together. Our confrontation happened about 2 weeks ago but we have made a lot of progress in terms of our relationship. Since then, we had become more open and transparent. We are trying to catch up with lost times. We have sex almost every day - sometimes 3 times a day. We went out of town to be together. So far, we are doing good. We are like new lovers again.
But in my mind, I worried that she might do it again. Te other day, I saw her quickly remove a SIM card from one of her phones and stashed it away. I'm probably just paranoid but I suspect, that she still communicates with the lesbian by phone. I hope I'm wrong. Thoughts?