coolrunner

Like the slew of others on here, this is my story, and I am hoping I can get some advice.

I have been dating my girl friend for just about 2 years. This is our situation:

Last year, she was at the club, and kissed several guys. I unfortunatly found out not from her, but a friend. She claimed she was drunk and foolish, and pleaded for me not to leave her. We broke up for a week or so I guess, then I took her back.

About a month later, I met a girl. In an act of selfishness, I cheated on her with this girl. We saw each other for a week or so, and were sexually intimate. I did not enjoy the sexual encounters, but I did it to spite my girlfriend. I of course regretted it after.

My I also saw my ex during this time, and we had oen sexual encounter as well.

I told my girlfriend after a couple weeks I had been doing this. She broke down, and broke up with me.

After a couple weeks, she took me back.

Now fast forward about a year later, to now. She just told me she went on a date with a guy, and kissed him. I broke up with her, and then the next night she saw him again while we were broken up. She then confessed this to me too. I said to her, "we break up and then you see him right away?" She claims he is a rebound - to take her pain away if we do not fix this.

She has pleaded with me to take her back. She states her reasons are that she just has not been in long relationships, testedt he waters to say- and that she felt he gave her attention I didn't give her. She has had several more sexual encounters than me, but no serious relationships, though I have had considerably longer, serious ones. I am her first serious relationship, I also wonder if she is just unsure to commit.

I ask for advice to people here, should I forgive her? Can I trust her? I know I am a fool to have cheated to get her back, but does this mak her cheating again justified? Are we both stupid-so I shoudl forgive her? or is this doomed now as we are both never to trust each other?

Any input would be great.. thank you so much.

dobo

She's a fool for taking a guy back who thought that having sex with multiple partners is equivalent to kissing a bunch of guys.

Neither of you are worth the time of day.

brighterlight

As long as you two NEVER marry you can keep the pain to a minimum!

foolz1

If you both are already doing this kind of thing, it will only get worse if you get married. These are the actions of selfish, childish individuals. You both either need to grow up or decide not to have a relationship with anyone until you do. Every time someone does this kind of thing, several people get hurt. It is just so wrong to play games with other's lives.

1nurse

You both have behaved foolishly and selfishly. Your relationship is immature and not worth saving. Grow up, learn from your mistakes and move on. This cycle will only continue. DO NOT create children and bring them into this dysfunction.

dexdastardly

I think this is a bit soap opera, no offence intended, but seriously the pair of you cannot seem to keep your hands off other people. Either an open reletionship or a clean split is the simple answer to this. Not to be harsh but at least you both know what each other is capible of before you get married or anything like that.
I dont intend this to be an answer for you as I will admit that my own opinion of people cheating Is jaded, why do it? Maybe you are perfect for eachother and should become swingers??
Best of luck DEX

AZMOMOFTWO

You are both not ready for a serious commitment. You are doing this to each other and its not healthy. Maybe take a break for a few months, and if you both still feel the same way then try again.

20yrs

wow - I am amazed at the quality of advice there is on this forum. I heartily agree with everyone... do NOT bring kids into your situation.

dobo

A relationship that begins with this much trouble is bound to have a lot more trouble down the road. And a lot of that trouble will be the result of insecurity and past hurts brought about by a lot of immature, impulsive and very "bad for relationships" behavior.

Cut your losses. You should both consider whether either of you are mature enough to be in an exclusive relationship. If either of you have substance or personality problems, you should get help in those areas. But in no way is this "beginning" the sign of a positive, nurturing relationship.

Taylor

You had sex with some chick for a week......and had a sexual encounter with your ex, all because your gf made out with a few guys? ummmm, sorry to say I'm not seeing your side of things here...