Online Affair. I'm new please help. - Page 2

odchoi · 02-26-2008, 06:28 PM

Hi somebody told me about a man's world. I guess cheating is one of the things they keep in their man's world. I was told not to confront them for it. What if wives will do that? Won't they fly in rage too?

Sweetiepie27 · 02-27-2008, 03:49 PM

Hi,

I am not a man but I have my share of experience and I hope that painful experience would help you. This is my story:

When I was 24 I met the man of my dreams. After an idyllic romance I found out he had cheated on me. I forgave him because he swore he would never do that again. Then he proposed. I thought that meant he really loved me and wanted to put the past in the past...I couldn't be more wrong.

3 months before the wedding he sent me an e-mail -yes, he didn't even have the courage to tell me face to face- telling me he had cheated on me and no longer wanted to be with me. I was devastated. I had to figure out what I'd done wrong, and why she was better than me. In my stupid obsession, I was more determined to gain him back and prove he loved ME and not her.

When he cheated on her, I realized than once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater. I was so damaged emotionally, I needed therapy. My therapist then told me women are competitive by nature, and we fight to gain the prize -a man- without even considering if he's worth the fight.

And about the claim that he did that because he's a man and he needed to get it out of his system is just BS.

demora · 02-28-2008, 09:35 AM

My advise, and take it for what you will....is that if you decide to end the current relationship, it is probably best not to jump right into another one, and remember that the "cheating" just like anything else in life is subjective. What you consider cheating, he may not. Some don't realise that emotional cheating is almost worst then physical cheating. Having sex is physical, but spending hours and hours with someone online is deeper then just "sex".

Liza · 02-28-2008, 01:59 PM

Your emotions are on a high ow, you are starved for affection and love to say the least. So this nice man has swept you off your feet. Just try to think straight though, giving everything careful thought.

bandit0000 · 02-28-2008, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Liza

Your emotions are on a high ow, you are starved for affection and love to say the least. So this nice man has swept you off your feet. Just try to think straight though, giving everything careful thought.

Hi,
I think you are right, this man has really turned my head. However he has been abroad on business this week, he did text me while he was away, but I have not heard anything from him today.
He was due back today although I don't know what time.
I think I have probably scared him off, I was acting like he was going to marry me or something. He must think I am a bunny boiler.
So feel rubbish again now, he would have contacted on his return right if he had missed me?

tragic · 03-03-2008, 10:47 PM

Cheating is about attention. If you pay attention to your partner then there is no reason to cheat. Some people are narcisstic and need way too much attention and so you can't always fulfill them.

Frankly I'm always suspect when people are together for over a decade and not married. Something is not right in that situatiion.

Immortalone · 03-11-2008, 07:37 AM

It seams to me that your boyfriend was missing somthing in the relationship and the lack of talking took him for a wrong turn. He was wrong for what he did but if you look at yourself you will see what I mean. When you found out about him cheating then this other man turned your head. Why? Because there was somthing lacking for you now in the relationship. Biggest problem I see today is that people just do not know how to talk to each other. People are to busy defending there words and actions to be open and honost with each other.

BrokenFrag · 03-25-2008, 08:57 AM

As a man, I can certainly say not every man out there feels the need to cheat just because he is a man. In fact, there are men out there who will never cheat, no matter how much is missing from a relationship. There are things in my marriage that my wife doesn't give me, but I have never, ever let myself near a situation that might lead me astray. I promised my love and fidelity to my wife 8 years ago and I believe that those promises supercede nearly everything, even my own happiness to an extent. Of course, as I feel the need to plaster everywhere, my wife doesn't have the resolve that I have. She has had an online relationship with a man from her office for the last several months. I just found out about it. In some respects, I am feeling more like a woman in the way that I feel the need to beg for a second chance and prove to her and me that I am the one she loves. She should be begging for forgiveness, not me. But there you have it. The risk of truly loving someone is that you can truly be hurt.

The one thing I do think is that you should not get together with another person right after this. You need to spend time by yourself to get right again before exploring new relationships, otherwise the new relationship may suffer because it is coming from a place of fear or anger or loss.

Tootles · 03-29-2008, 11:39 AM

Hi bandit0000, please update us on your situation.