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If you men need a women who has cheated in the past point of view

44K views 265 replies 53 participants last post by  x598 
#1 ·
Feel free to ask

I cheated in my first marriage, I was very young (I am only 26 now)

I am not posting this to start a row about my past behaviour
But if you are wondering about your wife's behaviour I may be able to help
 
#126 ·
I was a cheater and treated my girlfriends like gold.

Did everything for them and aside from the cheating they always came first in just about everything.
the vast majority of them would enter in a relationship with me again, today if it were possible.

There is no single mental aspect of any group that can be used as an axiom.
Posted via Mobile Device
 
#129 ·
Experience is a hell of education. This one experience I could have done without. It does make you more of an authority on the subject. As much as one might say you ain't.
 
#132 ·
Yeah...a quite cute named 26 year old wanting to teach us betrayed with her wisdom as a wayward when she was 22.

I'm enthralled.

I still want details and her real story. Not some blameshift thing. Just give it to us straight. This is TAM. I ain't married to her...wouldn't wanna be...so don't trickle truth an anonymous forum cuz that just shows how bad the pathology is.
 
#156 ·
I'm sure she probably did. She freely admitted he knew she was married.

I know I talked to my OM about my hubby. Not bashing, just questions.. He was my friend.

She spent alot of time with this OM so I'm sure they discussed the BS.
 
#141 ·
Feel free to ask

I cheated in my first marriage, I was very young (I am only 26 now)

I am not posting this to start a row about my past behavior
But if you are wondering about your wife's behavior I may be able to help
Since you cheated so early in the marriage, why wouldn't you just find a way to end it with your husband.
Did you actually "hate" him so much that you couldn't cut him enough slack to be able to walk away?
 
#145 · (Edited)
Originally Posted by MovingAhead
well, sure he wasn't meeting your sexual needs but as you can see there are plenty of people in SIM who have the same dilemma yet do NOT cheat.
the underlying cause is that you felt you selfishly deserved sex outside the marriage, you felt entitled to the attention.


For every person in SIM who have the same dilemma and don't cheat or haven't yet, I can show you five who are on other sites and have chosen to cheat.
Granted, OP is young and may not have any knowledge that is of use to you. It doesn't mean you have to continually bash her for something she admits she would have done differently.
It's been said before so ill repeat it, if you aren't having sex with your spouse, don't be surprised if they find someone who will. I've heard this plenty of times on the SIM section. Kind of a double standard.

Kermitty: Let me be straight with you.

1. You quoted and EDITED something that I may have written. You posted it in this thread, you link to my quote goes back to my post in this thread... POST #65

That quote of mine that you posted is NOT in this thread! That is dishonest and disingenuous at best!. Seriously?

2. I generally do not BASH people. If I were bashing someone, I would say something like this... I think you are a FU**TARD for misquoting me and making it look like I was bashing someone. I don't post to bash people, but I speak to people in real life bluntly. I will tell my best friends they are POS if they do things. I am honest and opinionated to a fault.

3. If you think I was bashing her, then why is it that to the present time of posting this, my post #65 is the only post in this entire thread that she actually liked? I scanned the entire thread!

4. The only person I cuddle with is my girlfriend. I hug my boys, but I do NOT coddle people. I don't berate people for making mistakes and I don't tell them they are POS. Everyone deserves forgiveness if they are truly remorseful.

5. I am a tough love person. Others here are softer. I am glad. People need all kinds. I am extremely harsh on people's actions and I play it straight. People tend to make excuses for their bad actions and I hold them accountable. People make bad choices, but it's their choice to make. I don't have a problem telling them their choice is crap if I believe it.

6. Holding someone accountable is NOT bashing them!

7. I don't give a rat's hind end about other sites and cheating statistics. Someone who decides to cheat is a coward and selfish, or has some mental issues in general.

8. It is NOT a double standard to cheat if you aren't having sex. You ALWAYS have the option to divorce or counsel. Cheating is the cowards way out!

9. If you aren't having sex with your spouse... You have issues. What they are I don't know. It's case by case. Your spouse will have to meet their needs. I understand that. Do it the right way. Sneaking behind someone's back is WRONG! If you disagree with that then well that says a lot about your character.

Again look at my post #65... Look at the bottom and see that she LIKED my post. I tend to think she may really have agreed with something I said. I could be wrong. It would not be the first time.
 
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#167 ·
She said there was nothing her first husband could have done to keep her from having an affair. Everything after that is moot!
 
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#173 ·
I'm typically more polite here, I think, than I am face to face. When I know someone personally, I am usually more informed and confident about whatever opinion I have.

I'm also the sort of person who would not have an affair if the marriage was bad. I would leave, divorce, or live in misery if divorce were somehow not possible. I have had relationships where my SO cheated (bigtime) and also relationships where my SO was not at all a nice person & I never cheated. My boundaries are very naturally strong in this regard. I think this is almost a personality type.
 
#178 ·
Plan 9, for some people, myself included, the only acceptable courses of action in a bad marriage are listed below:

I'm also the sort of person who would not have an affair if the marriage was bad. I would leave, divorce, or live in misery if divorce were somehow not possible.

<snip>

My boundaries are very naturally strong in this regard. I think this is almost a personality type.
Nothing my spouse does or doesn't do often enough will change my mind. This is my choice.
 
#174 ·
Since the OP hasn't been back, I don't feel so guilty about a threadjack.

EI, you know I love ya, girl! Big hugs to you.

Larry, I feel kinda bad for the OP. I know what it is like to be frustrated and at the end of your rope and you come here and people have nothing but negativity for you. That blows! I was just trying to inject a little encouragement to look at her situation honestly. Probably the optimist in me, but oh well lol.
 
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#176 ·
Yeah. I don't think we blame BS's enough on here. I mean, come on guys!! Own your sh-t.





***This post is written in jest. If any portion of it were in fact a true and heartfelt post you would be directed to your closest safe sight to ride out what surely would be the wrath of TAM. We now turn you back to your regularly scheduled threadjack and absent OP.
 
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#184 ·
If she would not have dressed so provocatively she would have not been raped. Please..The victim here is the BS not the WS. In any way.
 
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#186 ·
Blame the WS for being wayward. Period. Grow up and take responsibility for your actions.
 
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