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If you men need a women who has cheated in the past point of view

44K views 265 replies 53 participants last post by  x598 
#1 ·
Feel free to ask

I cheated in my first marriage, I was very young (I am only 26 now)

I am not posting this to start a row about my past behaviour
But if you are wondering about your wife's behaviour I may be able to help
 
#7 ·
It didn't ruin the marriage, it was just the final nail in the coffin
Tbh, it was the only way in my 22 year old immature mind I thought that he would let me go ( I have grown up since then)

There wasn't much off a fall out as we had no kids

Was it easy the first time, honestly yes
I felt no love for my then husband
 
#11 ·
After you cheated did you ever compare your husband and your lover, while you were having sex with your husband? How long did it take you to forget the OM?
 
#21 ·
I think a lot of us BSs would like to know...Could your husband have done anything to keep you from cheating?
 
#24 ·
Ok I will say it but I don't want anyone to think I am justifying my cheating

I was 22 he was 23 and I couldn't get him to have sex with me, he was the first person I slept with I didn't realise I was HD at time I thought I was totally abnormal I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life like that
 
#77 ·
I was married twice by the age of 26. Nothing wrong with that.

OP, my ex h had several affairs on me. He married one of the long term girls that was fighting to break up our marriage. I knew he was cheating, but I denied it our entire marriage. Once I had solid proof, I left. 19 years have passed and they are still married, she moved in 3 days after I left. My ex and I have a child together, so I had to be in contact with him. He still cheats to this day and has told our adult child. His affairs ended our marriage. I did not love my ex h and there were other issues besides his infidelity for reasons to leave. My ex H's current wife was not expecting him to cheat on her, which this really surprises me since he slept with her best friend as well while married to me. My ex h never and still doesn't take responsibility for his poor actions.

Having one affair isn't the same as a serial cheater. There's a big difference. We learn from our poor choices and face the consequences. I learned a very big lesson from my first marriage even though I was the BS and I did not repeat the same mistake twice.
 
#28 ·
I'll ask again. Could your husband have done anything to keep you from cheating? Yes or no.
 
#43 ·
Well, we have your side of the story only and I am well old enough to know there are always two sides.

Anyway, I'll play along...

So my question is this: Here you have a man who trusts you, has faith in you to do the right thing even if the marriage has a few sniffles and you are having sex with other men. What does it feel like to be trusted like that and then to strip for another man, climb in to bed (or hop the sofa...) and have sex with him knowing your poor damn husband is back home trusting you? Was it a major high? Did you feel empowered? Excited? Did you think, 'take that you trusting SOB'? How did you feel during the time with the POSOM?
 
#46 ·
Question how can I tell you exactly what happened if anything I say against my then husband is seen as my justifying the affair
Your betrayal ("affair" is a chic phrase used by those you DO justify their behavior) cannot ever be "justified". Period. But you came here, presuming your story is even true, and egged us on to ask you questions. And so we have. Why not provide the answers you want and go from there.
 
#52 ·
Considering OP said she felt it was a last option to free her from her marriage I dont see that many people will get much help from her.

Many people who come here are trying to save their marriage, even the WS's that come here seem to want to fix things.

She did what she did to feel good about herself and have an exit plan from her marriage. I dont see what questions we could ask that would be helpful for a majority of us considering most our our WS's say they just "fell into it" and didnt plan it. Her's appears to have been planned to some degree!
 
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