I posted here a couple of months ago. Here is a summary of what I am going through:
I discovered my wife was having an EA/PA affair nearly 5 years ago with a married man who has 2 kids. It was going on for 2 months. She supposedly ended the affair and we reconciled and had 2 kids together. Our kids are now 1 and 3 years old.
Three months ago I discovered she was having an affair with the same guy again. This time it supposedly went on for 6 months.
Since that time I have taken a lot of the advice given here. We wrote a no contact letter. I have exposed the affair to all of our family. We both have gotten tested for STD's. I got DNA tests for both kids and they are mine. I talked to the other man's wife a few times on the phone. She is going to individual counseling.
I spoke to the other man's wife and learned more about the affair. My wife has been messing around with this guy on and off for 4 and a half years, and even while she was pregnant with our first child. The other man had an affair with another woman during this time as well.
I understand that a cheater is supposed to show remorse and regret in order to properly reconcile. I am very worried because my wife is not remorseful. She has only said a couple of times that she was sorry she hurt me. When I get upset she gets angry and defensive. We have had several good days when she showed affection.
We have had some talks and she told me that she has completely changed since we were married 11 years ago while I have stayed the same. She has told me several times that she will just be miserable if we stay married. She seems to be on the fence about our marriage. She is telling me that she does not love me and that is the reason she cheated. She says she is trying to love me again so we can give our kids a good home. She says she is unhappy. She says she is just going to have to sacrifice her happiness so we don't break up our family. She is worried that she will be miserable as long as we are married.
She insists that she has no contact with the other man. I have been checking on her. Now she is getting angry because she feels trapped and feels like I am controlling her every move. I really want our marriage to work out because our kids deserve a good family. It would be terrible if she ends up marrying this guy who I have considered my enemy for nearly 5 years. I can't imagine my enemy becoming a step father to my kids.
She says she needs time to work out her feelings. She is not giving me what I need to heal because she says she does not have those feelings for me. Am I just expecting too much from her since it has only been 3 months since Dday?
I discovered my wife was having an EA/PA affair nearly 5 years ago with a married man who has 2 kids. It was going on for 2 months. She supposedly ended the affair and we reconciled and had 2 kids together. Our kids are now 1 and 3 years old.
Three months ago I discovered she was having an affair with the same guy again. This time it supposedly went on for 6 months.
Since that time I have taken a lot of the advice given here. We wrote a no contact letter. I have exposed the affair to all of our family. We both have gotten tested for STD's. I got DNA tests for both kids and they are mine. I talked to the other man's wife a few times on the phone. She is going to individual counseling.
I spoke to the other man's wife and learned more about the affair. My wife has been messing around with this guy on and off for 4 and a half years, and even while she was pregnant with our first child. The other man had an affair with another woman during this time as well.
I understand that a cheater is supposed to show remorse and regret in order to properly reconcile. I am very worried because my wife is not remorseful. She has only said a couple of times that she was sorry she hurt me. When I get upset she gets angry and defensive. We have had several good days when she showed affection.
We have had some talks and she told me that she has completely changed since we were married 11 years ago while I have stayed the same. She has told me several times that she will just be miserable if we stay married. She seems to be on the fence about our marriage. She is telling me that she does not love me and that is the reason she cheated. She says she is trying to love me again so we can give our kids a good home. She says she is unhappy. She says she is just going to have to sacrifice her happiness so we don't break up our family. She is worried that she will be miserable as long as we are married.
She insists that she has no contact with the other man. I have been checking on her. Now she is getting angry because she feels trapped and feels like I am controlling her every move. I really want our marriage to work out because our kids deserve a good family. It would be terrible if she ends up marrying this guy who I have considered my enemy for nearly 5 years. I can't imagine my enemy becoming a step father to my kids.
She says she needs time to work out her feelings. She is not giving me what I need to heal because she says she does not have those feelings for me. Am I just expecting too much from her since it has only been 3 months since Dday?