My past is messing my future. I'm losing it!
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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 11-18-2009, 05:00 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default My past is messing my future. I'm losing it!

My very 1st serious relationship(he's active duty) had Infidelity, Lies, Marriage, Miscarriage, 1 year Seperation and Divorce ALL over a course of 6 years.

Now I'm in a new one, he is also active duty. Been together for 2 years and counting. Married for 4 months and counting. I'm also 9 months pregnant. He is a gentleman and would do nothing to harm me. Basically I found a man, that I thought doesn't exsist anymore.

But I can't get myself to trust him. I do love him so much that it drives me crazy not to hear from him for 8 hours of the day, because he is working. I'm soo attached to him.

Why can't I get it out of my head that he is not cheating on me?

What can I do to stop this?
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Old 11-18-2009, 10:11 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: My past is messing my future. I'm losing it!

Therapy? Also, do you talk to him about your fears openly and does he provide you with reassurance and support? If so, just give yourself time and it will get better.

Being pregnant doesn't help. I know when I was pregnant I felt so much more vulnerable. You're almost through the pregnancy. Whew! :-)

Just remember that when the baby comes and you fall in love with him/her, that your husband is still your #1. Remember that and this wonderful guy that loves you will continue to be there for you and your new family.
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Old 11-18-2009, 10:38 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: My past is messing my future. I'm losing it!

I can relate I was way crazy when I was pregnant, and with your past your paranoia it is understandable. Just remember that asking your H for reassurance can be great but don't overdo it. Sometimes it helps to have a girlfriend to share your crazy ideas with, as long as she knows to point out how great your H is and is supportive of the marriage. You do not want to call your H every 5 minutes with crazy hormonal induced accusations. So my advice is try to tone down the "crazy" in front of hubby. Confidence - even if it's faked - is more attractive than insecurity. The feelings of confidence and security within this marriage will come with time - just don't alienate and wrongly accuse your husband before you get there.
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Old 11-18-2009, 03:44 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: My past is messing my future. I'm losing it!

Yeah I'm a nut when pregnant. Random break out into tears. Crazy thoughts. How do women do this for soo many years?!

Yes, I have talked to him about my problems and he tries his best to make me feel better. He's soo good with words it kinda bothers a bit.

You know the whole "Its too good to be true" theory? If its too good to be true, then its not.
That's scares me heh.

I guess its all just time. Just wish it was easier. Sometimes I wish we can just turn off our emotions.
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Old 11-18-2009, 03:55 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: My past is messing my future. I'm losing it!

There are guys out there that are emotionally available and empathetic and understanding. I married one of them. So count your blessings!
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