How do they live with themselves?
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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 07-01-2013, 03:05 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default How do they live with themselves?

I know of a couple who have an open marriage. The man is a cuckold who is fine with his wife being with whoever she wants, as long as he can watch or participate in his small way. They have ruined many marriages because they go after married men and women. When the BS finds out, marriages are shattered. They think nothing of it. If they can get someone to go along with them, then all is fair and acceptable in their world. Are people like this sociopaths? How can they live with themselves knowing they tear marriages/families apart? I don't get how sex could be so important that all human kindness and morality is tossed out the window. Their own pleasure is all that seems to matter. I think they are mentally ill. Because of them marriages have ended, children are born without the "baby daddy" even being told she got pregnant, and lives are forever changed. Yet they are fine with what they do and they always find people to go along with them. Another marriage bites the dust. No big deal. What is wrong with them?
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Old 07-01-2013, 04:37 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do they live with themselves?

If there are good people in a marriage, who will they go after?

This couple is MENTALLY ILL, to be despised as such. They exploit the lack of resistance to temptations.
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Old 07-01-2013, 05:12 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do they live with themselves?

Unless they are trapping someone into their lifestyle, I don't see how they can be called evil.

Everyone is responsible for their own actions. So any man willing to sacrifice his own wife for this lady, gets what he deserves.
This couple is not at fault for that man's shortcomings.
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Old 07-01-2013, 06:33 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do they live with themselves?

Everyone has the choice to say "NO" and to walk away, from such people.
Evil knows the face of evil, every good man or woman will despise them.
So i'd say the cause of those people cheating with them has already been there before they appeared on the scene.
It's just an opportunity but that does not excuse that couples actions.
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Old 07-01-2013, 07:01 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do they live with themselves?

Assuming this post is real....

Unless they are kidnapping people and forcing them to do things against there will they really aren't doing anything wrong. Just because they "go after" you doesn't mean you have to join in.

I'm really not sure why this would be appealing to anyone. For some reason I have a mental picture in my head of a dude dressed in a gimp costume while he watches his old lady get it own with random people. Creepy stuff.
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Old 07-01-2013, 08:03 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do they live with themselves?

Look at Bonnie and Clyde...two sociopaths who stumbled into one another and fed off each other's sick proclivities.

It is bad enough when you are a disfunctional individual who has no problem living a completely selfish life, but if you meet another person just like you, then there is a dangerous synergy there. The total becomes greater than the sum of the parts.
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Old 07-01-2013, 08:05 AM   #7 (permalink)
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I don't blame the women who my husband cheated with. I put ALL the blame on my husband. God only knows what he told them.

HE chose to cheat.
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Old 07-01-2013, 08:11 AM   #8 (permalink)
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It's a disgusting life which results in destroyed marriages. Marriage is hard enough to navigate, and then add a dash of intentional stupidity.I never understand why people intentionally sabotage their marriage, because they want to try something different. If that's the case take up rock climbing, or rv'ing anything other than that. Me personally, nobody and I mean "nobody" touches my wife but me and vice versa.
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Old 07-01-2013, 09:31 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do they live with themselves?

You might want to post the two of them of cheaterville as a warning to others.
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Old 07-01-2013, 12:02 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do they live with themselves?

For the same reason Beltschazzer wanted to use the artifacts from the Israelite Temple for his party- because it's wrong, and he knew it was wrong, and wanted to thumb his nose at God and His people. These people know what they're doing is wrong, and that's precisely why they want to do it.

Beltschazzer saw the writing on the wall; however most people today are not afforded such a blessing. Fine with me.
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Old 07-01-2013, 12:10 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do they live with themselves?

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Originally Posted by Oregon Rose View Post
I know of a couple who have an open marriage. The man is a cuckold who is fine with his wife being with whoever she wants, as long as he can watch or participate in his small way. They have ruined many marriages because they go after married men and women. When the BS finds out, marriages are shattered. They think nothing of it. If they can get someone to go along with them, then all is fair and acceptable in their world. Are people like this sociopaths? How can they live with themselves knowing they tear marriages/families apart? I don't get how sex could be so important that all human kindness and morality is tossed out the window. Their own pleasure is all that seems to matter. I think they are mentally ill. Because of them marriages have ended, children are born without the "baby daddy" even being told she got pregnant, and lives are forever changed. Yet they are fine with what they do and they always find people to go along with them. Another marriage bites the dust. No big deal. What is wrong with them?
I don't buy the story. An open marriage is not at all what you're describing. An open marriage is an arrangement where the 2 who are married are allowed to go solo with whomever they wish. It's not about a husband being a cuckold or whatever else your story wants to create. Heck, it's not even about swingers. Go find another board.
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Old 07-01-2013, 12:26 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Reformed Hubby, I assure you this post is real. I became their victim when the man in this situation went after my STBX and brought him into their sick lifestyle. My STBX was more than happy to go along with them. I do blame him most of all. He should have been man enough to walk away, but decided instead of have an A with them. Absolutely the cheating spouse is most to blame. My question was mostly about why people would continue this lifestyle knowing their actions continually destroy marriages. If they know that and continue, does that not make them sociopaths? There doesn't seem to be any moral values or concern for others on their part. Obviously, the CS is even worse than them for easily being sucked in. I have thought about posting them on Cheaterville. All three. My STBX now regrets his part, but he has shown his true colors. I don't believe a word that comes out of his mouth. Divorce from me will free him to live the lifestyle he has shown he enjoys. He can be one of them and I will gladly be miles and miles away and FREE of them all.
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Old 07-01-2013, 12:29 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do they live with themselves?

I would be willing to bet dollars to dimes that your husband was the one who found THEM and not the other way around.
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Old 07-01-2013, 12:42 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do they live with themselves?

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Originally Posted by SomedayDig View Post
I would be willing to bet dollars to dimes that your husband was the one who found THEM and not the other way around.
I don't know. There has been some of this in our community, among our friends, and at least 1 marriage and family with you children blown apart by it. Country club, beautiful houses, beautiful cars, professionals, . . . poof! The husband, an orthodontist seems to be OK with his wife, also an orthodontist, sucking other women's husband's ****s for fun. From what I have seen and learned over the past 24 months, I am pretty sure there is a lot of this going on and around.
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Old 07-01-2013, 12:42 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do they live with themselves?

SomedayDig - No, they came to him. How do I know? I confronted all three of them after their A was exposed and they all confirmed it. No big deal - just sex they said. Maybe open marriage isn't what it's called. I don't really know. They have a marriage where the guy can't perform well and the wife is somewhat of a nympho. The husband allows her to be with whoever she wants, but he has to know about it. No secrets. As long as he knows, it's okay. In the case of my STBX, the man was involved too and there was 3-way sex. STBX told me all about it, as did they when I asked. The man will hire men to give his wife gang bangs and they go to sex clubs. They brag about it. I'm sorry if you don't believe me or whatever your problems are with it, but it's true and they effectively all 3 ended my marriage. I never wanted to know people could be so cold. I found out anyway. Welcome to the world.

Last edited by Oregon Rose; 07-01-2013 at 12:48 PM.
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