i want to tell my story in this forum because i feel unsafe to tell it to even my best friends, but i really need to tell it to someone since it was too heavy to hold it for myself. i just got married 2 years ago and it was perfectly happy. but about 3 months ago, i met a guy, Ben, in a tennis training camp and i have felt something for him, it just happened so fast that i really dont know how it started and how could i let this feeling grow...we train tennis in a same club so we meet sometimes per week in training, but i still hide my feeling so we just talked as friends and i have no idea how he felt about me. and 1 day after a tournament, he offered to drive me home and i cant stop myseft to kiss him, and find out that he also like me although he know about my marriage. everything with him was just so exciting and passionate, which i have lost in my marriage. i still remember it was exactly the same when i first met my husband, Fred, but somehow the longterm relationship blew these feelings away...now i still love Fred very much, but i cant stop myself to want so badly the excitements with Ben. i really hate myself for being so weak and feel so guilty with Fred, my sweet sweet husband should never deserved to be cheated like this. i love Fred, i care for him and i know he loves me more than anything else in his life... it just those dangerous fantastic feelings with Ben trying to pull me away from my marriage life. i fight so hard against my guilty desire, but in some weak moments i just suddenly dial Ben's number. it just so easy to meet him and Ben also try to protect our secret, that make me feel no risk and keep doing that again and again. But Ben doesn't love me, he just likes me very much, he try to control to not fall in love with me since i'm married, and somehow he can manage to be very cold...it hurts, i want to break into his heart but it just impossible, i'm addicted to being with him, but also hate him at the same time for breaking my heart, i dont know if he give a damn **** about me or just simply like to be with me... last week Fred had to go away 1 week for a bussiness trip so that was a chance for me to be weaker, but i also realized that only Fred can save me out of this trouble, he just need to be at home and i will be ok when he's always around and save me from some weak moments. since 1 week i didnt call Ben and tried to ignore him at the trainings, i try to hate him, try to save my soul, try to not break Fred's heart, try to heat up my marriage again... i think and i miss Ben a lots, but Fred's love calmed me down and i'm in peace just to be next to him. of course Fred still doesnt know anything, his whole world might be broken if he know it. i'm not sure if i can keep like this for how long until when i wan to see Ben again, but i'm trying my best now to fight against the other dangerous me. i wonder how many people out there are carrying a big secret like me. sometimes i'm not sure if i'm ready for a marriage life, now i'm not sure of anything....
I noticed your screen name is beni, not fredi. I wonder if that says anything.
2 years and you need the excitement of an affair? You feel guilty but keep going back for more? Fred is your security and ben is your excitement?
Do your husband a favor and tell him about the affair on your way out the door. He sounds like a nice guy. He deserves better. I'm not saying you are a bad person, you're just not good enough for your husband. He sounds like a nice guy. Give him a chance to start over. You owe him that.
And PLEASE. For EVERYBODY involved. DO NOT make the mistake of thinking that having a child will make everything right in the world.
Do your husband a favor and tell him about the affair on your way out the door. He sounds like a nice guy. He deserves better. I'm not saying you are a bad person, you're just not good enough for your husband. He sounds like a nice guy. Give him a chance to start over. You owe him that.
Beni, I agree with Cody5 on this one to the letter. It is beyond cruel to do this to the man you so recently professed to love. Have the decency to either end the affair now, or tell him your leaving today. There is no other honorable option.
Yah, it will be hard Beni. Think how hard it will be for him, and he didn't even do anything. On a side note, do you know why I've never tried drugs Beni? I hear they are addicting. The same can be said with affairs. It's time to grow up and check your @ss into Betty Ford. Best of luck. LIL
I don't agree on the "walk out of the door" advice. You can try to save the marriage, but you must STOP all contact with Ben, tell your husband everything, and seek counselling.
This will crush your husband and it will take years if you both recover at all.
Bad advice Sven. She has an addiction to the thrill of new sex. Just because she's able to get HIM out of the picture, the need for the thrill will still be there. Her husband doesn't need to put up with the heartache of helping HER out of her problem. Her husband has relatively little invested in her. Time for him to be given a clean slate to start over.
Think about this-you have a husband who loves you and only you,right? Well,I would be willing to bet that you're not the only one for Ben. Why subject yourself to that? I think that if you continue on the path you're taking, you'll be living with a lot of regret when you lose your husband and realize it was for someone who doesn't love you. Posted via Mobile Device
She doesn't give a crap about Ben either, or who else Ben ****s. She's into the thrill of prohibited sex. Get rid of Ben and there will be others. Her hubby doens't need this.
Oh poor Beni, you missed out on the "how to not act like an animal" course in life. In a couple of months that rush of excitement with Ben will wear off and you will need to find your next rush. Tell your husband what you are so he can get mad and leave you before your waste one single more day of his life. Then grow-up before you get involved in your next relationship.
Its one thing to hear of a person cheating after years of abuse or neglect (still not right) but you never mention anything bad about your husband so it is simply you not being able to control your urges!! I feel sorry for your husband. He deserves better.
Grow-up before you wreck your next husbands life.
thank you very much, you guys were very experienced, and expecially Cody were completely right, even though you were very tough on me and made me cry to say how cruel i am with Fred, but it's true, i'm into the thrill of this exciting sex, i'm not grow up yet and i'm not ready for marriage.
but after reading many stories here about how much suffers people have after knowing about the wife's affair, and it will last for many years, i really think that i wont tell Fred to destroy him and to suffer me of seeing his pain. and i dont have the damn gut to leave Fred right now because i love him, i need him...i just tried so hard to heat up our sex life and it works...
i know i'm selffish to keep Fred for myself now, but i just cant quit on him yet, maybe later, but right now it will be too much pains that i cant handle....
about Ben, i still can keep my strength up, and very soon i will need to leave away for 3 months so that will be really helpful of cutting him off.
I would like to take this opportunity to point out there are "players" in this old world that knows how to push a woman's hot button's.They look for and pray upon women.
Not making excuses for beni's bad behavior.I agree she sounds like she is after the thrill of the "strange".
I still say the fires down below has a special table reserved for un-remoresful cheaters.
beni....please be remorseful.You do you husband great dishonor for cheating.6 months is still honeymoon time,you 2 should be getting it on like bunnies.If you cheated within 6 months,where will you be in 10 years?Do him a favor and be honest and tell him about your love buddy.
He should be the one who decides the fate of your marriage.
anyone here have an affair like me?
poor guy. Stuck with a cheater.
