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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 11-23-2009, 08:30 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Angry betrayed

I'm at the end of my ropes, I've try for 2 years to forgive my husband for emtionally cheating. It's not working, he is a good huband and excellent with children so why can't I just get over it. He was my soulmate. I ended my last long term relationship of 8 years for cheating...just walked away. The difference this time I'm married there is more invested. My husband was talking and sharing information about me with this person also he crossed the line sending naked pictures. Also I don't know if this is someone on his job or not he also had a naked picture of a lady breasts on his phone (from his job). he says someone sent this to him. I never even thought of such... I feel like I'm losing more of myself each day trying to cope. There is also money issues (trust) like where is the extra money going i don't really see how he would have the time to cheat but.... i don't know anymore I've been married 10 years. I don't know how to forgive and still be happy with him, nothing is happening currently i think i have been hiding my feelings. And now things have just hit the fan:
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Old 11-23-2009, 10:23 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: betrayed

Maybe you should try counselling. Good luck...hang in there.
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Old 11-24-2009, 07:16 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: betrayed

It sounds like you're having trouble getting over it because he hasn't come clean yet. You mentioned that you don't even know if it was someone at work or not. You need closure and he's not giving it to you. You need to heal and he's making you go through this alone and that sucks.

My problem I've written about earlier on this forum happened a little longer ago than I made out in my threads. I was too embarrassed to admit that I haven't been able to get over it yet. My wife won't come clean with me either. Continues to lie. Not only that, but the official story is that I made her stop her innocent activities due to my immaturity. I'M the bad guy.

I can't even look at my wife lately because she's making me suffer through this alone just so she doesn't have to admit that she acted inappropriately. She know's what I'm going through (I've tried comunicating about it again recently, hence my activity on this forum) and she's making me suffer alone. I'm very close to an ultimatum: either talk to me, no lies, "or else". I think she knows the "or else" won't be too bad (her activities weren't divorce worthy and there are kids involved), so she's sticking to her story. But I also have a great marriage, and that will suffer greatly unless she helps me heal. She has to man-up, take some blame and help her family. Sounds like your husband needs to do the same.

Or maybe not. I'm not the brightest bulb on this forum.
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Old 11-24-2009, 08:05 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: betrayed

cody, I share you comment about 'not the brightest bulb on this forum'! Wow, when I started making comments I really felt thin on knowledge.

Truth is mandatory (in both stories). Everything must come out in the open. PH and Cody, you both have feelings and that matters. It's not right for your spouses to act like its not important.

Hang in there and I hope and pray it works out for both of you.
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