JMAN777

Anyone have experience with their spouse posting an add to a singles website while married? This would probably be a dealbreaker for me personally.

Loving Husband

Affairs are always the result of a problem in a marriage. Very rarely do affairs happen when marriages are going well..

psychocandy

Dont agree.

Affairs happen because of selfish people. People who want to have their cake and eat it.

psychocandy

Definitely way uncool...

I remember a single friend of my wifes wanted my wife to go to a speed dating evening with her and take part to help her pick a partner. This was not acceptable for me - no way !!!

AZMOMOFTWO

Yeah, my H was. He was cheating at same time too so that kinda outweighed the whole dating website thing. Didn't find the OW on the site she was a friend. I got in to his email to find out he was cheating, then I saw all the ads going to spam. You only get those in huge volume if you sign up on free service and they want you to pay. I followed one of the links, tried his email log in and sure enough same password. He had minimal info up there, fake name etc but didn't help when we reconciled. He deleted all those accounts but it was upsetting. Any married guy posting on those is looking for something in my opinion.

cody5

But I'm paranoid for not wanting my wife to go out clubbing every other weekend with the same partner in crime until 3:00 in the morning. We each have our own lines to draw in the sand, don't we.

JMAN777

Thanks for your comments. I certainly am not judging and making a generalization that everyone should get out of the relationship because of this, but in my personal context here given everything that is going on this is something that I would not be okay with. I would forgive my spouse eventually I'm sure but think it'd be best to move on with life.

stillINshock

Social media sites = bad news for shoppers. My H had a FB account. Old classmate ladies from way way back 'finding him' asking if he was married and he would AVOID answering the question. Only posted pics of himself with my son. (Ya know, maybe a single guy - who's a really good guy, cause look at this cute picture.) Yuck. I found all of this out after his EA+ was discovered. I looked at everything - and kicked him of FB. He totally agreed to stay way from that stuff.

Someone once said - If its something you can't share with your spouse entirely, then its not right to be in it. I think this actually came from an article from a 90+ year old woman. Wisdom I'm holding onto.

Raemay38

I can not stand people who judge who never walked in the adulters shoes to know exactly why they had an affair in the first place.
Loving husband is correct on his answer and if you ask a therapist all you judgmental people on here they would tell you the adulter has issues in their marriage and feel a need to be fullfilled by ego or attention by others because their not getting both of those at home. Maybe if women/men would give husbands/wives more attention it would never happen. My husband told me his friends were complaining about how their wives dont have sex with them but a few times a year thats how affairs start lack of sex means he will go else where to seek fullfilment so women take care of your man or this may happen to you.

JMAN777

I can see your point Remae, realizing it's not a black and white issue and can understand there are situations like that but in my opinion in most cases that is the easy way out. If there's a problem that can't be resolved in a relationship, then split up and pursue someone afterward.

BiscuitMom

It appears my husband was doing it quite often. He met his EA online and it appears he developed another "friendship" via dating sites while we were in counseling and on the upswing. He also was cruising Craigslists personnels the same week he was planning a surprise 40th birthday party in which he read a poem that he wrote of how much he loved me in front of all our friends.