I'm new here. I'm going through some tough times in my relationship. We started dating a long time ago (10 years) and married fairly young a few years back. We had both had some sexual experiences before but really we learned everything from each other. Everything was perfect until we realized we couldn't make up our minds as to where we want to live.
I wanted America, she wanted Europe as it was easier for her to get a job in her field. I was making very good money in America and supported her until she left for Europe. I told her I wouldn't follow her and things kind of started to get cold between us.
Then, a few months ago (after being apart for nigh on a year) I decided to come over to Europe. Quit my job, sold my stuff, came to join my wife. Unfortunately things did not work out as planned. She was cold, even colder than before and I got depressed. I fell into a deep depression, telling her I'm gonna snap out of it with a little support. Then I did it, with help from friends I made in Europe. I tried not to be pushy or needy so I just helped around the house, fixed stuff, even gave her money I'd saved for stuff that she needed. In the mean time she was working.
Then, a few weeks back I came home only to find her making out with a guy in his car. They drove off and she came in a few minutes later. I told her I'd seen her and confronted her about it. She was actually glad I'd found out, because she didn't know how to tell me about it - told me it's a guy from work, who she LOVES and who loves her, he had left his fiancee to be together with her, and that this thing had been going for a couple of weeks. She told me she hadn't slept with him yet, but was about to a couple of days later when she told me she was going to sleep over at a friend's house to watch some movies. She also told me she's not going to be monogamous anymore because she thinks it's boring.
I felt betrayed, but I tried not to flip out. And I didn't that night. I heard all her stuff telling me how good it is to be understood and loved. I couldn't sleep and in the morning I lost it. As soon as she woke up I started packing to move out, and asked for my belongings and part of my money back (she bought a car for herself and I paid the downpayment). She said that money's rightfully hers and that's when I really lost it, punched the tv and broke it and made a huge scene. I never hit her though, but I called the lover and confronted him, he was coc.ky and felt it was natural to have sexual intercourse with my wife. I decided that I'd rather not go to jail for killing them both so I let her leave the house, continued packing and left myself a bit later.
It's been a couple of weeks now. I'm living with friends and I still didn't talk to her at all. In the mean time I realized how much I love her and how she misinterpreted me giving her space for indifference. I want her back, I desperately want her back. I can forgive her and I want to mend our relationship.
Do you think this is even possible? What should I do, how should I act? I don't like acting needy, I can't act indifferent as indifference is what caused this entire thing in the first place, and playing the tough guy will probably only drive her away.
I really need some help guys. Thanks.