Do you have a close female friend that would be straight-forward with you if you asked her about your style, your approach, etc.? Do you keep yourself up? Are your clothes dated? Are you coming on strong? None of this could be the case at all. Probably isn't. But either way, it could help you in resolving some questions in your head. If you have a friend like that who says everything's perfect, keep doing what you're doing, then you know you just haven't found "the one". If she gives you some pointers, takes you shopping for some new jeans, shoes, new haircut you may have a renewed self-confidence.
For most women, healthy self-confindence (NOT ARROGANCE!), sense of humor, and a chivalrous yet laid-back approach works. If you're trying too hard it makes us uncomfortable. It can make things tense.
Don't allow stereotypes or race define who you are. You know who you are. Remember that and let it shine through. Be proud of who you are. What are your talents, hobbies, likes? All of those things define you. You can't be beaten down worrying about how the world perceives you.
Do you have a close female friend that would be straight-forward with you if you asked her about your style, your approach, etc.?
I don't have any really close female friends that I can ask what they think of me, or if I am attractive. They are all too nice to tell me if there was something wrong with me. I guess I can ask them when the conversation and timing seems appropriate.
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Do you keep yourself up? Are your clothes dated? Are you coming on strong?
I am turning 28-years old next month, and I feel like I'm good with my clothes, haircut, and fashion. I get my clothes from the GAP and Banana Republic. I dress and fit my age - definitely appropriate, I think.
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For most women, healthy self-confindence (NOT ARROGANCE!), sense of humor, and a chivalrous yet laid-back approach works. If you're trying too hard it makes us uncomfortable. It can make things tense.
I agree, those are great traits to have, but unfortunately they don't guarantee attraction. I admit I may be a little more reserved than others, but there's still some level of standard that women hold to, and if a man doesn't meet that standard then he's out as a partner. Maybe if he makes enough money then that would change her mind.
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Don't allow stereotypes or race define who you are. You know who you are. Remember that and let it shine through. Be proud of who you are. What are your talents, hobbies, likes? All of those things define you. You can't be beaten down worrying about how the world perceives you.
It's not just the stereotypes, but other things that I cannot change to an extent. My height and my skin problems, for example. That can turn some women off and I'm aware of that. My hobbies, which I think are exciting, are not interesting to people my age. For example, I like to golf, play chess, and play classical music on my violin. Those are things I am passionate about where it takes hard work, discipline, and practice to perfect.
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I make over four figures a year!
For example, I like to golf, play chess, and play classical music on my violin.
I dated a guy who played classical piano and didn't listen to any contemporary music (or music with words as he called it)
But there was a song by Jewel and I loved the piano music and played the CD for him. He bought the sheet music and learned it & one day just played it for me...totally blew me away.
Anyway, I played violin as a kid and took it up again when I got divorced so was interested in classical but not over the top into it. He took me on a few dates to the symphony (Orchestra Hall in Chicago) and I loved it...Just a thought...sometimes talents like that can be very attractive to women because it puts you in that 'take charge' role where you
show a part of who you are and they get to experience something totally new.
BTW, this guy was overweight & not as tall as men I usually date (cuz I'm tall and feel like amazon if I look down at my date) but I was totally attracted to him...his intelligence and sense of humor and confidence.
If you like chess, and golf, and playing the violin, chances are, you're above the pack intelligence-wise, and the girls nowadays, sorry to say, aren't intelligent enough to keep up with you!
I felt the same way growing up... I was into nature, and learning, dancing, animals, etc etc...
But all the other kids around me ONLY seemed to know about Big City Life (meant to be in quotation marks)......going to the mall, going to the movies and parties...drinking, doing drugs, etc...
My parents raised me with a lot of morals, and taught us to use our BRAINS, and enjoy the outdooors, and experience many things...
(excuse the wording...hope you get the general idea)
freeshias4me - I'm just assuming that women instinctively like men who are good at something practical. Unfortunately my hobbies are not practical and are not easy to "show off", so I think there is generally little appreciation for these kinds of things. I don't think it necessarily has to do with intelligence, although it sounds kind of arrogant to say that I am intelligent.
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I make over four figures a year!
No, no woman that I ever knew said:"Hmmm, I like him! I think he can fix the plumbing!"
Nah!
"Generally speaking", a lot of women are attracted to the cool guys/dark and mysterious/hard to get.
And it's terrible, too! We like em, date em, but if we actually get them? Then we regret it, badly!!!
You sound like a quality guy...So why not go where quality girls hang out? Take a general interest course at a community college...Or if you are religious, go to Sunday services.
It's too hard to meet someone at work, without it rocking the boat, and you'll probably NEVER get a good one at a bar!
May I recommend a website to you? (this is from my own, personal experience.) I dated a lot before I got married...tried all the sites, and then some. By trial and error, I ended up at: casualkiss.com
The people there are very friendly, and not perverted...LOL
Hey, OP, where are you "looking?" Have you volunteered your skills in places that may increase the number of people you meet? Everyone you meet is a potential friend, and every friend has family and other friends--it's the best way to meet people. Did you say golf? Volunteer to help at tournaments, esp. fund raisers. Chess? Volunteer at a school/after-school program. Violin? Make yourself available to play for free somewhere--schools, hospitals, nursing homes, churches. The more you just get out and about, the wider your circle of friends will be, and someday, one of them may become a conduit to the one woman you are hoping to meet.
Re: Argghh! Women are so confusing!
