I've probably asked out about 10-15 girls since college with all 100% rejection. This is usually how it plays out, and I do believe in the "ladder" theory, which basically says that women have 2 ladders: a friends ladder and a romantic partner ladder.
I meet a girl in class, or at orchestra rehearsal, or through the internet. We become REALLY good friends and I go out of my way to be the nice person I am. Helping them move, taking them out to eat, fixing their computer, giving them personal advice, etc... Then I realize that I have strong feelings so I tell that I want to be more than friends. Then of course, they get flattered, but tell me that they aren't interested in me in that way and that I'm a really good guy friend to them. Then I get really hurt and I end up distancing myself from them. It's just too hard to be "just friends" with someone who doesn't reciprocate the same.
I almost got something going once back in college when I did a lot of sweet things for this girl like organize with her roommate to secretly fix her sentimental watch given to her by her grandmother. I also got us tickets to go watch a jazz show! Then when I told her how I felt, she said she felt the same. I then took her out to lunch the next day and she told me she had thought about it some more and wasn't sure about things between us. Then she ended up going out with another guy a month later. That was the most devastating blow!
And so now I have this current situation with these two girls, which I only like one of them. I already know how it's going to play out the same. I just know it, yet I can't stop myself from repeating the same mistakes. I'm planning to ask her out to brunch some time soon so we can spend some one-on-one time together and just chit-chat. Things will go well, I'll get excited, and we'll do some more little activities here and there, I then fall for her, try to tell her this, and she'll say I'm just a good friend. I can see it all too clearly
__________________
I make over four figures a year!
Last edited by cheewagacheewaga; 10-07-2008 at 08:41 PM.
I've only had 1 girlfriend, and that was back in high school when I pretended to be a bad boy skater guy. Now I'm 28 years old and truly being myself: a nerdy computer guy who loves to do introverted activities like golf, chess, and play the violin. I haven't had a date or a girlfriend since high school, and that was 10+ years ago!!! Something about me is wrong, and that much I know, since I'm the common denominator in all these failures. There are other things about me that I cannot change, or easily change, like my ethnicity, height, skin problems, and lack of money. I'm just trying to work with what I got and it's been very disappointing. So the only thing I can do is use my brain and move myself up in terms of career and money, and that's my #1 goal right now.
Don't be so hard on yourself cheewa. You sound like you're pretty well put together in the sense that you know what kinds of things you like doing and have some talents. Just be yourself, and eventually the right person will come along. Focus on making the most out of life. If you try to change to get a girlfriend, eventually she'll realize you're not the person she thought you were, and that wouldn't end up well.
Maybe try doing more social stuff, like joining clubs with common interests (i.e. golf, music). I'm the same way in that I don't like a lot of social activities, but I thought about if things were different and I hadn't met my wife, how would I meet girls? Maybe online dating, who knows...
I find it to be offensive because it hasn't really brought any positive results for me, at least the results I want in terms of taking it to a real relationship with a woman. To me, being non-threatening and too honest comes across as weak and effeminate. If these were good traits for a relationship, as you say, then I would have my pick of the ladies, but I don't. Instead I end up with a lot of female friends who see me as a nice guy male friend, like a boy toy. That's why I'm not sure what these 2 girls want from me. Do they like toying with me? I've only had 1 girlfriend, and that was back in high school when I pretended to be a bad boy skater guy. Now I'm 28 years old and truly being myself: a nerdy computer guy who loves to do introverted activities like golf, chess, and play the violin. I haven't had a date or a girlfriend since high school, and that was 10+ years ago!!! Something about me is wrong, and that much I know, since I'm the common denominator in all these failures. There are other things about me that I cannot change, or easily change, like my ethnicity, height, skin problems, and lack of money. I'm just trying to work with what I got and it's been very disappointing. So the only thing I can do is use my brain and move myself up in terms of career and money, and that's my #1 goal right now.
I wish my skin problem was as simple as pimples, but it's not. I've been to a dermatologist and she told me that I have mild-to-severe eczema, and I've had it ever since I was little kid. It has left a lot of scars. I still have it on my face, my hands, my fingers, my neck, my elbow, my toes, back of my knees, and a little on my back. It's really disgusting, and this is even AFTER all my oral medications and topical creme medications. I know it's disgusting, but I don't hide it because I've gotten used to people asking me what is wrong with my hands/face/legs/neck, etc... It really doesn't phase me, but I KNOW it's not attractive, if that makes any sense.
I'm only 5'8". The average height of Americans is 5'10". It seems like a majority of the women around me are just as tall as me, if not taller!
And yes, everyone has money problems, and that's exactly why money is an important factor.
Anyhow, going back to my dilemma of these 2 women, we are in contact again to go out to a nice restaurant next week to celebrate this $500 bonus I received for working on a programming project, and to also grab some drinks in the city. I have to admit that I'm a little excited about it since I get to dress up and be around 2 beautiful women, but the other half of me is a little defensive because I wonder what they want from me. Eh, maybe a free meal.
__________________
I make over four figures a year!
I wish my skin problem was as simple as pimples, but it's not. I've been to a dermatologist and she told me that I have mild-to-severe eczema, and I've had it ever since I was little kid. It has left a lot of scars. I still have it on my face, my hands, my fingers, my neck, my elbow, my toes, back of my knees, and a little on my back. It's really disgusting, and this is even AFTER all my oral medications and topical creme medications. I know it's disgusting, but I don't hide it because I've gotten used to people asking me what is wrong with hands/face/legs/neck, etc... It really doesn't phase me, but I KNOW it's not attractive, if that makes any sense.
I'm only 5'8". The average height of Americans is 5'10".
And yes, everyone has money problems, and that's exactly why money is an important factor.
Anyhow, going back to my dilemma of these 2 women, we are in contact again to go out to a nice restaurant next week to celebrate this $500 bonus I received for working on a programming project, and to also grab some drinks in the city. I have to admit that I'm a little excited about it since I get to dress up and be around 2 beautiful women, but the other half of me is a little defensive because I wonder what they want from me. Eh, maybe a free meal.
Let's see I am 5'8"1/2 And I also have eczema among many other things. When you limit yourself you become a self fulfilling prophesy. You will create the good or bad situations in your life.
Maybe that extra 1/2" makes all the difference! Or, you actually lucked out and found someone that likes you for who you are. I still believe that women like this are far and few, and that you have something that she wants. As they say: Nobody does something for nothing!
I agree in the self fulfilling prophecy, but to think one thing and to act on it, or not act on it, is another. I'm not sitting here complaining AND giving up. I'm still out there interested in women and doing my best to work with what I've got. And sometimes in life, the odds are always going to be against you. You either fight back hard, find another way, or just give up on it.
I'm just really frustrated and bitter about my experiences, and I love to rant about it anonymously on here and stir up a discussion!
__________________
I make over four figures a year!
Maybe that extra 1/2" makes all the difference! Or, you actually lucked out and found someone that likes you for who you are. I still believe that women like this are far and few, and that you have something that she wants. As they say: Nobody does something for nothing!
I agree in the self fulfilling prophecy, but to think one thing and to act on it, or not act on it, is another. I'm not sitting here complaining AND giving up. I'm still out there interested in women and doing my best to work with what I've got. And sometimes in life, the odds are always going to be against you. You either fight back hard, find another way, or just give up on it.
I'm just really frustrated and bitter about my experiences, and I love to rant about it anonymously on here and stir up a discussion!
"A winner is a loser that got up to give it one more time."
I wish my skin problem was as simple as pimples, but it's not. I've been to a dermatologist and she told me that I have mild-to-severe eczema, and I've had it ever since I was little kid. It has left a lot of scars. I still have it on my face, my hands, my fingers, my neck, my elbow, my toes, back of my knees, and a little on my back. It's really disgusting, and this is even AFTER all my oral medications and topical creme medications. I know it's disgusting, but I don't hide it because I've gotten used to people asking me what is wrong with my hands/face/legs/neck, etc... It really doesn't phase me, but I KNOW it's not attractive, if that makes any sense.
I'm only 5'8". The average height of Americans is 5'10". It seems like a majority of the women around me are just as tall as me, if not taller!
And yes, everyone has money problems, and that's exactly why money is an important factor.
Anyhow, going back to my dilemma of these 2 women, we are in contact again to go out to a nice restaurant next week to celebrate this $500 bonus I received for working on a programming project, and to also grab some drinks in the city. I have to admit that I'm a little excited about it since I get to dress up and be around 2 beautiful women, but the other half of me is a little defensive because I wonder what they want from me. Eh, maybe a free meal.
I have seen the infomercial for Proactive. I'm not concerned about getting my skin baby smooth, but rather it's the scars and scabs from my excessive itching from my eczema and allergies. In fact, probably using any cosmetic cremes and lotions will exacerbate my itching. I can't even use regular soap or lotions because it contains chemicals and my skin reacts to it. I have to use a brand called Cetaphil and only do "dry" shaves on my face because shaving gels make my face swell up and turn red.
So Monday is the big night! The 2 ladies are taking me out for me b-day to a nice restaurant. Such sweet ladies
__________________
I make over four figures a year!
Last edited by cheewagacheewaga; 10-12-2008 at 10:04 PM.
Don't give up. Go to doctors until you find the one that can help you. There are some that are better than others, so don't just go with what one or two might have told you. Try to find top doctors in your area, or close by if you can't travel to them. Use the internet to find top doctors in that field. Good luck to you !
High quality fish oil. Get the most expensive brand with a high EPA and DHA content. Kiss your skin problems goodbye... This will also put your libido into overdrive, which will motivate you to put more effort into getting laid.
High quality fish oil. Get the most expensive brand with a high EPA and DHA content. Kiss your skin problems goodbye... This will also put your libido into overdrive, which will motivate you to put more effort into getting laid.
I wonder if those fish oil pills work? Although I do like generally eating fresh and real foods. Any types of fish have high fish oils? Tuna? Salmon? Does eating sushi count? I love sushi![/QUOTE]
Quote:
Originally Posted by swedish
Have fun tonight ... look forward to hearing all about it
So I am back from my evening out with the 2 ladies for my birthday, and as I had previously mentioned, I like the younger one (26 years old). They took me to a nice restaurant and we had a good time eating fine food. The younger one is very touchy-feely, but I heard that this is very common with white people. Is this true? That can really be confusing to me. Nonetheless, I pretty much know that they see me as a good friend. We talked a little about my status and they asked me how I'm doing with the ladies. I lied and told them that I'm meeting a lot of women and that I'm keeping my options open. I didn't want to sound like a loser and say that nothing is happening. So they both offered to take me to a bar one day and would help introduce me to ladies at the bar and "hook up". Yuck - no thanks! So at that point, I knew that they both just see me as a friend and nothing more. I'm a little bummed about that since I really did like the younger girl. I'm just destined to only make friends with women!!! I'm not masculine enough or something.
__________________
I make over four figures a year!
Re: 2 girls taking me out - boy toy???
I'm not masculine enough or something.
