So me and "M" have been dating for almost a month now and things are great! I'm finding that we are saying and texting cheesy lines like, "Can't wait to see you!" or "Missing you, wish you were here." The last girlfriend I had was 10+ years ago and I remember saying all these cheesy things only to find out that it back fired on me. It made me end up looking like an emotionally dependent wimp. Should I pull back?
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I make over four figures a year!
I know actions speak louder than words so as long as I continue to show my words through actions, then all should be okay, right? I just have this feeling that she'll get annoyed or feel like I'm too much for her if I keep on saying these things. It's kind of like how people like candy: you eat too much candy and you'll get sick of it!
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I make over four figures a year!
I just hope it won't be one of those situations where it's a lose-lose. If I be verbally honest about my feelings towards her and tell her I miss her constantly, then she'll think I'm an emotional wuss and need to man up. If I pull back, then she'll complain that I don't verbally tell her how I feel. I know that some women are okay with actions and some women are okay words, and some women want both! I have no idea what type she is yet. I have a feeling I'll find out the hard way down the line somewhere.
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I make over four figures a year!
Sometimes a good way to assess things is to look at how often you initiate these chats vs. her. If it's primarily you, it wouldn't hurt to back off a little and see if she picks up the slack. Depending on her life (if she's very busy) sometimes it's nicer to get a brief email instead of a phone call or text because you don't feel pressured to respond right away.
For me its not so much what is being said, but when its being said. For example, i'll never forget when my H (boyfriend at the time) text me at 4am to tell me he was thinking about me. I was at the gym, but who else gets up that early?? he was on summer break but woke up that early to send me that text. that meant a lot, just b/c of the timing.
I think if you say cheesy things all the time, they start to lose their meaning. Its gotta be quality over quantity.
For me its not so much what is being said, but when its being said. For example, i'll never forget when my H (boyfriend at the time) text me at 4am to tell me he was thinking about me. I was at the gym, but who else gets up that early?? he was on summer break but woke up that early to send me that text. that meant a lot, just b/c of the timing.
I think if you say cheesy things all the time, they start to lose their meaning. Its gotta be quality over quantity.
Well here's an update that is totally going to twist you guys around. Now I'm reconsidering if I really do want to be in a relationship with "M". She's perfect in the sense that we get along really well and she accepts me for who I am, and I really can't complain. I can tell she is into me more than I am into her. The problem is that my feelings are fading for her and it's only been about 1-month. My physical attraction to her is gone at this point. I really started to feel things dwindle between us when I went home for Thanksgiving for 5-days, and I'm feeling that the chemistry on my end is fading. I even look at other women and think, "wow, I wish I could trade 'M' for this other girl..." I know that's bad, and I'm just being honest. Should I talk about this to her, or just end it? Or give it a chance and some time? Worst case scenario, she is leaving for graduate school in Europe in about 1-2 years, so in the end it's not going to last.
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I make over four figures a year!
I even look at other women and think, "wow, I wish I could trade 'M' for this other girl..." I know that's bad, and I'm just being honest.
I dont think its bad that you are thinking this. thats the point of dating. if after one month you are losing interest, then i think you're just not interested in her, and that's ok. I never tried to work it out in the dating scene. i went with what i was feeling and moved on if i lost interest. but then that's just how i feel about dating.
I dont think its bad that you are thinking this. thats the point of dating. if after one month you are losing interest, then i think you're just not interested in her, and that's ok. I never tried to work it out in the dating scene. i went with what i was feeling and moved on if i lost interest. but then that's just how i feel about dating.
I've never really dumped someone. I've always been the one getting rejected and turned down. Not sure how to go about it.
I think you were following my other thread about 2 girls taking me out (2 girls taking me out - boy toy????) Anyhow, "C", the one I really wanted but has a boyfriend, emailed me tonight and asked me how my Thanksgiving was. Now I'm thinking more about "C" than "M"! I want "C"!!!
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I make over four figures a year!
I've never really dumped someone. I've always been the one getting rejected and turned down. Not sure how to go about it.
I think you were following my other thread about 2 girls taking me out (2 girls taking me out - boy toy????) Anyhow, "C", the one I really wanted but has a boyfriend, emailed me tonight and asked me how my Thanksgiving was. Now I'm thinking more about "C" than "M"! I want "C"!!!
Dumping someone is a tough thing to do. You know you're breaking the other person's heart if they feel something you don't. However, like everyone else said, you're dating. You're better off not leading her on anymore if you're not into her. Have you two said the relationship is exclusive? I don't see why you can't have coffee with her or take in movies and go out with other women as well.
It sounds to me like things got heated up too quickly and now the mystery and thrill of the chase is gone. She's becoming clingy and now you have noting to prove. Hate to say it, but part of the fun is the mystery. Lighten up the dating scene some.
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--M22
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud..... it always perseveres.
Sounding too cheesy scares away women?
