Thought I found a wonderful man

draconis · 12-10-2008, 02:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hockey_mom

I received an email from him apologising for the comment and that he did'nt want to be disrespectful to me.He said he enjoys spending time with me and it is not all about sex,he just wants to take things slow as he has been hurt and hurt others when the relationship has been rushed.
I feel a whole lot better now.

Good to hear, maybe now is a time to set up good communications with him and provide acceptable boundries.

draconis

Amplexor · 12-10-2008, 08:13 AM

Move forward with caution for both your sakes. If he wants to keep things at a slow pace he has he reasons. Be sure you communicate to him what works for you and doesn’t in the sex department. It sounds as if you have some definite wants in that area, make sure he understands them. Good luck in this relationship.

hockey_mom · 12-10-2008, 05:24 PM

I am getting worried again,I have not heard from him since he wrote the email he did say he enjoyed spending time with me and it was'nt just about sex.Should I call him or wait seeings he was the one who said he wants to move slow.I am just so confused I feel we are going backwards.

draconis · 12-11-2008, 07:19 PM

Give it a few days.

draconis

Godiva · 01-16-2009, 07:59 PM

Hi Hockey Mom,

At the risk of sounding like a...loose type of woman, I have to admit that when I first read about his advance, I was thinking to myself, "Wow that is hot!"

Then again, I'm a morning person, and I love it when a man is forward and blunt. I find it refreshing. And I personally love yes or no questions in regards to my sexual mood rather than a long drawn-out courting ritual.

If he has been treating you well all along and this was his first faux pas in your eyes, then I would see it as totally forgivable. Here is a fact: most men are their dumbest in the morning. Something you may want to accept and get used to. Expect a sonnet in the evening after their testosterone-level has waned a bit.

May I make a friendly suggestion to learn to be more certain of yourself? If you were offended by his abrupt question, that's totally understandable! If a man said something similarly fresh to me at a time when I wasn't in the mood, I probably would not have been so polite as you.

That said, it should not involve such hand-wringing and anxiety. If I may, you and woman in general, myself included, should learn to trust our own insticts. The fact that you are second-guessing your actions and his reaction tells me that you aren't so sure.

You know what would be fun? I would love to see you take what this man said,

"wanna ****?"

and turn it right back around and say, "no, but care to make me some coffee?"