She will always be honest with me, not trying to hide something, not trying to cover up things
pending on her mind, about her, about us and know full well, she doesn't have to go through
life or overcome obstacles on her own. She will not play games or be misleading or
manipulative.
She will be artistic in nature, knowing the beauty of the mind and heart of an artist and
encourage me when I feel inspired to express myself within my art and music, not resenting it,
thinking it's taking time away from us, knowing full well, this is part of my very nature to be, for
I was born an artist.
She will realize something is wrong should I distance myself from her, she will always strive to
be close to me in all ways no matter what it takes and will not let inhibitions or preconceived
notions get in her way.
She will act upon her heart unabated and she will express what she is feeling clearly.
She will be confident in my ability to understand, knowing I can empathize with her in all ways.
She will be passionate, emotionally and physically, she will allow us to get lost within each
other without restraint.
She will value our time together as precious, even when it's not exclusive and must share it
with career and friends.
She always will hold in her heart that I care deeply for her and that she is always on my mind
and in my heart without condition.
She will not consider material gain or accomplishments as a replacement for happiness.
She will be confident within herself and she will lean upon me during times of trouble and when
she needs support should her confidence sway, knowing full well that I am here for her in all
ways.
She will understand the fragile nature of my heart, that it is not calloused and what she says
and does can easily break it, for she has mine in full without compromise and that I always
remember what is said.
She will stimulate my mind, not forcing me to carry on the conversation by myself and she will
strive for herself to find things of interest to share with me.
She will be able to be spontaneous at times, yet always consistent in the ways about us where
it counts in the matter of the heart.
She will want me to be better then I already am, she will appreciate who I am regardless and
realize, I am always evolving into more of what I should be like a blooming flower.
She will know we are one, we are a team, not just two people separated by ideals and
distances of any kind.
She will always be there during times of trouble and during times of joy and I will always be
able to count on her even when I cannot count on anybody else.
Ok, guys, is this too much to ask for? I personally think not, not if it's true love, it should come naturally, if it's not true love, it will be difficult to impossible to "fake" it.
When I found out I was gay I made an "Ideal Mate" list similar to yours, except substitute 'she' for 'he'. This guy I was describing in my list, he was the perfect guy. Did I ever end up finding him?
Hell no!
Instead I found Collin, who although takes me to the heights of happiness, a few more times then I'd like annoys me supremely. He leaves the lights on, he leaves the milk out on the side, he can be manipulative when he wants to be, he's known to be sulky on occasion - he's FAR FROM perfect, but he is mine and I am his, and I'd pick him over any 'list' I had in my mind before. I love the way he's funny, quirky, and kind, but I also accept that he's sometimes lazy, forgetful, and sulky.
OldFashionedGuy, I hope that when you don't even know what's coming, a lovely woman will come and sweep you off your feet... but when you get swept off your feet, you get a little battered and bruised. Your soul mate is special beyond words and therefore cannot be described using them, before OR after she's left a mark on your heart.
Just my humble yet honest opinion BTW, some people may disagree.
Quote:
I personally think not, not if it's true love, it should come naturally, if it's not true love, it will be difficult to impossible to "fake" it.
Hmmm... I do not think 'love' comes naturally. I think that the bulk of love lies in the committment aspect of the relationship. Using my own relationship as an example, I'll give you two scenarios: one was in the early days of my relationship. I was high with euhporia, we went on a romantic dinner where we felt on top of the world. We then went for a walk, holding hands and occassionally kissing and such. The night ended with me going home and staying up all night, buzzing with excitement. This elated, 'high' feeling certainly came naturally.
The second is in our first year of marriage. Collin fell ill and was bed-ridden for the whole day. I had to wait on him because he couldn't even get up, all the time I was tired, frustrated and had crap on my mind. I did it, but it didn't come naturally.
Which seems like it has more true love in it? I'd say the second scenario; I don't think real, deep love comes naturally, I think you have to work at it. Sorry if it seems like I'm bragging about my marriage. But it's just to get my point across.
Last edited by Alex_Fider; 01-21-2009 at 04:45 PM.
I never had a list. But i have heard they are good to have. Although, I knew a girl in college that had a very long list and the man she was engaged to hardly met anything on there. So i dont know that lists do a lot of good.
Mostly when I was dating I talked to a lot of women, and my sisters, about how they made their marriage work, or what went wrong. because to me it seemed like no matter what one's list was, the spouse would eventually fail to meet it. and then what? So i really wanted to know what happened after that.
I just want to be happy....there are lots of little things that total up to create that happiness...but I don't know that I could make a "list". Every person is different and no one is perfect...its more about finding someone that is perfect for you. I think if you go in with a "list of requirements" you will never find what you are looking for. Just my opinion.
You've got, like, 90% of the male population to choose from.
nah i think your figures are wrong. there is def more than 10 % of the male population that cheat.
and 2 of them were my Husbands and i have married twice.
so im obviously a rubbish catch.
before i did my nurse training i worked as a cashier in safeways.
i know for fact 5 of those men were at it. 2 women caught pregnant by the same bloke and that didnt include his partner at the time . OUCH.
and now i work in a department. that i can also tell you atleast 5men were caught by wives not including those that dont know.
i also have been on the gay circuit and i can also tell you,
the amount of married men who were at it with gay men.
nah i think your figures are wrong. there is def more than 10 % of the male population that cheat.
and 2 of them were my Husbands and i have married twice.
so im obviously a rubbish catch.
before i did my nurse training i worked as a cashier in safeways.
i know for fact 5 of those men were at it. 2 women caught pregnant by the same bloke and that didnt include his partner at the time . OUCH.
and now i work in a department. that i can also tell you atleast 5men were caught by wives not including those that dont know.
i also have been on the gay circuit and i can also tell you,
the amount of married men who were at it with gay men.
These lists are very good to have, it's not to say your mate should live up to all of them at all, it's to get to the point along communication. I created mine since my so called girlfriend/fiancee would have at least a reference point as to why I was frustrated with her and I encouraged her to create her own.
My Ideal Mate
This guy I was describing in my list, he was the perfect guy. Did I ever end up finding him?
Your soul mate is special beyond words and therefore cannot be described using them, before OR after she's left a mark on your heart.
