Preso, you may not of heard it but I stood and applauded your advise, very well said. But I must add it's not just the men misrepresenting themselves, a lot of women are playing the same game.
Country Girl to answer your question, no my dad is not alive, he has been gone since 1980. But don't go feeling sorry for me, he was a hard man and worse when he was drunk. So do me a favor, when you see your dad next give him a hug from me and tell him someone out in the world thinks he did a great job of raising his girl.
OK, sirch. I hope you're not thin skinned because I don't want to offend you but I have to ask this question. How do you keep having sex with your wife when the situation is what it is? To talk about divorce, have sex and then go your separate ways just baffles me! Have you both just accepted the fact that together in bed you're great but as a couple not so good? Are you really comfortable with this scenario? Human nature always amazes me and I am really curious as to what the thought process is during your meetings. PLEASE don't take my questions as judgment, once I start over thinking things I need to get answers or I can't chase the questions out of my head.
sirch, you definitely had us in suspense! Glad you didn't have to hitch-hike a ride back home this weekend. Hope things go smoothly for you. How is your son doing? Have you broke the news to him yet?
Cooper, thanks!
And preso, I honestly don't know where to begin.......
You are correct, the pickings do get slim in the over 40 group (both men and women). Anyway, I have worked on myself until I'm ready to find another project! Although I am still legally married, I have been alone for three years. Unfortunately, this divorce could go on another two years. I am tired of wasting my life and I'm ready to live. My counselor agrees. I'm still a work in progress!
I live a very full life, but I do get lonely. I am human. I work 50 hours each week, have two children at home, have 10 horses, attend at least 8 to 10 horse shows yearly, have friends (mostly married women), attend church weekly, do volunteer work at the church, maintain a house and yard, cook, sew, read, and spend way too much time on this computer. I guess along the way, I just get bored and find the dating to be entertaining. As strange as some of the dating gets, I have met some nice men. And I know the more people I meet, the greater my chances are of finding the "right" person for me. It isn't going to happen over night.
As for my children, they are a blessing. They aren't typical teenagers. I'm not ready to call them baggage. I tend to call them "support personel" because they do a ton of stuff around the house (without me nagging). True, I could stand to lose a few pounds, but I am HEALTHY--I have no health conditions. And I have no self-esteem issues. Although I tend to be slouchy when I'm doing yard work or playing with the horses, I really clean up nicely. I have no personal debt at the moment. In fact, many of my regular bills are paid three months in advance. Now my business is another matter due to the stbx--we won't even venture there. My parent's made sure I had an education (both book and cultural). Heck, I have even been outside of Alabama!
As for all of the perverts, criminals, and STD's, I'm not going to let those things suppress my spirit to live. That's why we have background checks and PI's (& nice alarm systems in our houses). As for the STD's, I'm a health care provider--I'm very knowledgeable there too. Sure I will be cautious, but I will not live in fear.
As "Country Girl", I'm here to have fun. Besides the dating gives me plenty of material to write about. And since I'm a very nurturing and caring person, I'm always glad to offer support and encouragement to others. Many blessings have been bestowed upon me. However, the one thing which has eluded me is a healthy, warm, loving relationship with the opposite sex. That's the one thing money can't buy. I have enjoyed everyone's company on this journey. It seems many of us are on this journey together.....Good luck to everyone; may you find that which you seek.
Good night
Last edited by Country Girl; 06-23-2009 at 02:34 PM.
Reason: left sentence out
Hey coop, no offense taken here. We all have to be open minded when we ask other folks for advice. I guess we keep having sex because we are both horny people by nature! When we first separated I wasn't comfortable with this scenerio, I was reading too much into it I guess. But now it's just sex, nothing more nothing less. Besides who knows what you can catch out there nowadays, there is diseases that can make your you-know-what fall off lol! Anyway I believe that if we can stay amicable during this situation the better off everyone will be. It is hard enough without including a bunch of drama and fighting, don't you agree? And hey, yes still friends.
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"When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her"
Thanks for being open Sirch. It's funny how things unfold differently for people, everything in life isn't black or white, right or wrong. Your scenerio would have never worked for me but if it works for you that's what matters. Do you think it will change once she gets the divorce papers? I hope it stays amicable, makes it much easier for your son if he see's you two getting along. How's that baseball season coming along? My son has had five games and has not struck out once, been thrown out and popped out but no strike outs. One year he made it to the last game of the season before he struck out.
Baseball season is over here, our team won the league title! It was my sons first time being on a championship team, he is so proud of that trophy! Coop who knows when she will get papers, we got our tax stuff done (had to file an extension) and we owe the irs. So I had to use my divorce money to pay the government, sucks huh? But I will save up again, she knows this and at least we are going to do it peacefully. As a matter of fact she is actually being extra nice lately. Do ya think she realizing what is coming and getting scared? I don't know but she is going out of her way to contact me, she wants to talk this weekend. We will see whats up then, well ya'll be good and have a great weekend!
__________________
"When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her"
sirch, that's wonderful news! I can just imagine how happy your son is! Congratulations!!!
I don't know what to tell you on the divorce subject there. It's funny how fate can sometimes change things. Hope "the talk" goes well this weekend. Maybe she is worried. Good luck whichever way it goes.
I met this gal on POF and we agreed to meet at a local hike/bike trail because she "loves" to walk. I saw her pull in so I walked up to her car to say hello, I was shocked at her outfit right off the bat, skin tight pants, high heels and a very tight blouse. For a hike? I asked if we miscommunicated with our plans, she said no she brought a change of shoes but she wanted to "show me how skinny her legs were"(her words I swear). She made several references to her build and her thick hair over the next hour, fishing for compliments I guess. At one point she is talking about how much she loves her hair, she turns her back to me and shakes her head so her hair falls straight down her back and says "I love my hair this length, don't you think it's sexy?". I told my buddy about it and he said I should have just reached out and grabbed her, that's what she wanted. I'm not so sure she wanted that but she certainly wanted me to lay the compliments on her. Oh, and we only walked a couple hundred feet because I could tell she was struggling in those tight pants, we just leaned on a fence railing and talked, at least I leaned, she just kept playing with her hair and fixing her clothes.
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"Cause I'll be there, in the back of your mind, from the day we met to the very last night, and it's just too bad, you've already had the best days, the best days of your life..."
Cooper, I'm sorry! I did have a good laugh though I'm sure people must think we make it a lot of this dating stuff up. Unfortunately, NONE OF IT IS FICTION. Unbelievable! Did you have any idea this woman would be anything like this from telephone conversations?
I got so tired of some of the stupid stuff two weeks ago--even I was not finding some of the e-mails amusing. I put some serious restrictions in my profile. As a started point, "no arrest record, no illegal drugs, no activity partner"; and the list went on. Maybe I am tooooooooo picky, but I learned a lot about what I'm NOT looking for. Anyway, I spent the weekend with my children and critters. No adventures for me!
I don't think you can make some of this stuff up, people seem to lack simple class anymore. I never had a phone conversation with this last gal, after the one woman that called and just wanted me to talk so she could listen to my voice I havn't given out my number. This gal understood that, she had a guy calling her 20 + times a day and had to get the police involved because she became frightened by the things he was saying. What a crazy world we live in.
I am like you, the list of things I am not looking for just gets longer. I find myself looking at everything through a microscope, probably not a great way to start a relationship because most people can't handle the scrutiny. You know, I'm the first to admit I'm not perfect, but I always try to be the best I can, and that's all I want from a partner, why is that so hard to find?
Cooper
PS...You eliminated me from your dating pool ! Is there a statue of limitations on any of those restrictions you added to your profile?
PS...You eliminated me from your dating pool ! Is there a statue of limitations on any of those restrictions you added to your profile?
Sorry Cooper. I meant no offense. And I do look at those factors case by case. And I usually say within the past five years. Also, I look at reoccurring things. I do pull background checks on prospective dates. Some of the things on the background checks can be troubling (especially when they are reoccurring). For example, I've had several men with domestic violence come up on the checks. I really don't need to go there. And I have even questioned them about it. And in those cases I didn't like the answers given either.
I think you're correct about the class issue. There are many people who just don't have a clue. I have thanked my parents many times for how they brought me up. Just hope I have been as successful with my own children.......
This dating thing is harder than most people realize. Even harder and more confusing for those of us reentering it after so many years.
No offense taken Country Girl, you would be reckless not to try and protect yourself in these times. There is no way I could give you a short story version of my youth, I was such an enigma I'm not even sure I understand what I was. That part of my life ended 26 years back down the road, but our past is something we carry with us always, and it can make dating complicated. Where do you draw the line when it comes to a persons past? You are correct about reoccurring issues, that's an easy decision to avoid those types, I guess the rest are just case by case.
I hope you have a nice holiday weekend, remember to hug the people you love.
Perhaps we will get the dating thing figured out one day. I'm about ready to take a break myself. Some of the things I've been through lately just makes me wonder if it is really worth the effort. That or I don't understand people very well.
Re: Confused
