I didn't mean to imply POF was a good site, just another option. I have not had much luck either but I am in no hurry. After the marriage I was in I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than end up in a similar relationship (see my post under the infidelity forum). You kind of sound like me, at this point we are very clear as to what we DO NOT WANT in a partner. I still feel people our age are trying to make up for lost time, kind of like when my horse gets out of the pasture, runs around like an idiot but has no place to go.
I myself am getting back into hobbies that were neglected for a lot of years, bicycling and trapshooting. I say this because the more you network in groups of people with similar interest the chances of meeting someone compatable greatly increases. Find something you like and get involved. Even if you don't meet someone your a least having fun.
Hey Country Girl,
After the marriage I was in I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than end up in a similar relationship (see my post under the infidelity forum).Cooper
I know what you mean. I was there too. Even if I do meet someone compatible, I'm still afraid to trust again. Meeting all of these perverts on line isn't helping me with trust. lol As I have tried to have meaningful conversation with the ones I've gone out with, I discovered something else they all have in common. Every one of them readily admits to "cheating" in past relationships. They think nothing of it. That's when I'm done with them.
You're right, focusing on hobbies is a good place to begin. I've just got to find some new (& cheaper) interest to pursue. I'm also having to learn to accept my place in a different social class. Going from very high income to much lower is a big adjustment within itself. Friends (sad to say) don't always stick with you when going that direction.
Don't give up on your friends so quickly, make an attempt to reach out and stay in contact. Many people just aren't sure what to do when they have always known you as part of a couple and now your not. I was worried about losing friends but found once I made a few calls to let people now I still wanted to be involved my circle of friends is pretty much the same.
As far as the financial part divorce is hard on both sides, we just need to deal and move on.
Somewhere out there is a man who isn't a pervert and a woman who isn't trying to be 17 again, we just need to find them. Learn to enjoy your days and just keep your eyes open!
Let me ask you this, how would a man approach a woman at a grocery store? That's one I can't figure out, Hey, I like your choice of produce, can I buy you a coffee or an ice cream cone? Would that work? I don't think I'm smooth enough to pull that off. But it would work on me!
Aw come on cooper, the ol' standard always works in grocery stores. Just casually walk by and mention "they have great melons around here". Just kidding ya! Please don't do that, lol.
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"When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her"
OK, I have to go to the grocery store tonight , I'll let you know how that line works! Hey, maybe with any luck I'll meet a cute nurse when she tries to help me deal with some gals foot stuck up my arse! I think I can work with that, thanks for the advise sirch, what a pal!
Don't let Sirch get you in trouble with that line. Only problem is that the melon line could turn some woman on. Just remember what we've been finding on line... Now days I would say that line is a 50/50 shot. lol
Seriously though I can see where the grocery store could be good hunting grounds. I'm not sure which region you live in, but here in the south women greatly out number men in the grocery store. Your best approach would most likely be to ask a woman if she has tried a particular product or how she likes a product you see in her cart. You want something which will require more than a yes or no answer. Check out lines are a great place to get a short conversation started. You will have to keep us updated on you grocery store outings.
OK, I chickened out with the melon line, or maybe good manners took over. Either way I went, I shopped, I kept my mouth shut. And Confused you could be right, what would I do if I used that line and some gal asked if I wanted to squeeze her melons!?
I live up in north central Ohio, depending on what day of the week you go most of the time there are more women than men. Wed. seems to be ugly old man night, I will make a note to go a different night.
Back to the original point of this thread by Confused. I know there are a lot of good and decent people out there, but I find myself less willing to compromise than before. Case in point would be your separated status, when I was 25 I would not have cared but at this point in life I would not go out with you, way to much potential for drama. So maybe men look at you as short term instead of long term, hopefully after your divorced things will be different.
As always, thanks for an honest opinion. I wish I could rid myself of that darn "separated" status. It is about as much fun as being stuck in quick sand. By the time three lawyers get through with this case, I hope I won't be too old to date. I guess that's just the hand I've been dealt and I'll have to accept it.
Good luck with the grocery store dating research. Sounds as though that could be entertaining.
As a separated person you really are in a state of limbo. Even as a newly divorced person I have had women treat me as if I had leprocy. Some of my friends told me I needed to start dating the second my wife moved out and others are still telling me to wait and give it more time. One day I think I want to be in a relationship and then the next day I think WHY would I want to be in a relationship. Kind of goofy, I know. When I was separated and going thru the divorce process regardless how I thought, it would have been a terrible time for me to have been dating someone, way to much emotional baggage at that point. Sirch is right, first learn to enjoy your freedom and have some fun. Just don't compromise your morals, keep it good clean fun. And maybe a good man will notice you and when the time is right he will walk up and ask you about your melons. Sorry, I had to throw that in, even cracked myself up!
Yea countrygirl my mama taught me better! I was just too hard headed (excuse the pun) to listen, lol! This is becoming a fun thread, I like the playful banter. Beats the hell out of all the doom and gloom threads. Ok the suns out going to go get on my water toy and hit the lake, maybe do a little bikini patrol! Have a great weekend ya'll.
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"When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her"
And maybe a good man will notice you and when the time is right he will walk up and ask you about your melons. Sorry, I had to throw that in, even cracked myself up!
That's funny. At that point he just might get a tour of the garden--many of us here in rural Alabama have those. That could be a good thing. I would at least know he is a down to earth person.lol
Re: Confused
