 How to recover from emotional pain?
Did something go wrong?I believe that anger is natural, grief seems to be appropriate, but I personally believe that healing is mandatory and restoration is possible.
I would like to share with you the story of one of my patients and show you how she changed your thoughts, recovered from emotional pain... I hope yu will find it interesting...
Is there a way by which I can change things happening in my life is a question I had asked myself twenty-five years ago. Nothing was going right for me- relationship and health problems, everything was extremely overwhelming. And, in the years that progressed, I experienced that I have what I am looking for-the power of shopping. Does that sound funny to you? It`s not that funny after all…
I actually have not just gathered the shattered pieces of my life with this magic wand, but also coupled it with six simple rules that helped to change my life, and made me the person that I am today.
In my opinion the six simple rules for changing your life are:
1. The only person you can change is YOU
2. You have choices
3. Your beliefs control your actions and you control your beliefs
4. You can start today
5. The universe will support you
6. You are worthy of getting your needs met
So did anything go wrong?
I bet that everybody had a tough time in life, and some of you may be even experiencing it right now… It`s absolutely possible, so let’s maybe take a look at Cathy`s example and learn more about shopping and three of these rules through her life. Happily married, Cathy always took pride in having a good marriage. At least till she realized that her husband was cheating on her.
What followed were devastation, anger and frustration. There is no doubt that anger was natural and grief too was apt. But we have to move on in life and learn to survive. So, Cathy too made a heroic attempt to throw out negativity from her system, and discovered the magic wand of shopping!
She and her husband realized that even after all that had happened in their life, they still wanted to stay together and give it another try. Cathy too felt that though the resentment would take a while to go. She couldn’t deny the fact that she indeed loved her husband and was still keen to be with him.
So she chose the first golden rule-the only person you can change is ‘you’, and decided to shop. What she did was really simple. She treated herself as a store and looked for inventories to stock. She decided to stock ‘romance’ and started collecting different products for the same. She made it a point to cook special dinner for him (her husband) every Friday night; came up with the suggestion of ‘dating’ each other ever Saturday night, so, and so forth…the list kept increasing. Unfortunately, Cathy’s husband did not prove to be a loyal customer, nor did he make an effort to change his store for her.
So find your happiness....
Having given a sincere try for almost two years, Cathy came across the second golden rule ‘you have choices’. She could continue stocking her store with various things and keep feeling miserable. But none would have actually made a difference in an already hopeless situation. Or else she could decide to shop again-and this time for a husband.
She decided to opt for the second choice that would lead to happiness. Once it was decided that she needed to change her customer, she was fairly clear of the product to be shopped and the quality that she was looking for in that product. After all, shopping is all about making choices. However, in Cathy’s case he needed to be the right one (at least this time) for her happiness to be restored.
She was sure that she wanted to shop for a ‘loyal’ product, especially someone who would appreciate her store and give her loyalty and love in return. So she went out to shop again and came across the third golden rule: ‘you are worthy of getting your needs met’.
I know that this may sound odd to many, but happiness can’t knock on our door if our soul is starved of the strength, love and care of emotional bonds. Cathy needed this all and much more. She made a list of all her emotional needs-hope, faith, resilience, loyalty, love and an optimistic attitude, garnished with the sparkles of friendship and laughter.
However, before venturing out to get it all, she needed to work on herself, just as we work to clean a car before a shopping spree. After all, she needed some time to get over the emotional baggage too.
Years have passed by and Cathy is now leading a fulfilling life. But for me she is not just a client that I came across. In fact she could be any one of us going through a similar personal nightmare. Remember for all such Cathy`s ‘journey begins at the mall’. So, what are you waiting for, if something has gone wrong, shop and find happiness!
And for those who need more clarity, and more thoughts on ‘how to shop’ , pick up a copy of my book ‘If You Want An Egg Roll, Get Out Of The Pizzeria’.
You may also share your experiences with me, I would be delighted if you did it here...
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