I officially declare 2013 a sucky year. - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
Dealing with Grief and Loss The grieving process is difficult. When we lose someone close to us, we go through many different emotions.

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post #46 of 84 (permalink) Old 08-29-2013, 10:03 AM
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Re: I officially declare 2013 a sucky year.

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Originally Posted by larry.gray View Post
On July 18th, my mom lost her 18 month long battle with cancer.

Yesterday, which should have been just a happy, last visit to the OBGYN instead delivered devastating news. Instead, the doctor couldn't find a heartbeat. An ultrasound confirmed, the baby passed yesterday sometime.

We've got a nursery ready, car seat, baby stuff... and now we're at the hospital. No baby will be going home with us.
All differences aside Larry my deepest condolences.

And I agree that 2013 has been a weird and sad year and it started off for me with my sister in law dying in February, then my uncle in Louisiana dies two weeks later, then in March a co-worker I was very fond of turned up missing - was found but was very ill - then we're told a week later she died suddenly in the hospital - and in June we had to put down our beloved pet Domino who had stomach cancer.

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post #47 of 84 (permalink) Old 08-29-2013, 10:08 AM
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Re: I officially declare 2013 a sucky year.

Larry, so very sorry to hear bout your mother. I hope you find comfort in the fact she is no longer suffering and fill your heart with lovely memories of her/her love.

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage.

Sometimes life slings a lot of bad at once. But it can only mean better days are to come. You have to go through the dark to get the light.

Hugs.
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post #48 of 84 (permalink) Old 08-29-2013, 10:22 AM
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Re: I officially declare 2013 a sucky year.

I just heard about this Larry, and since we've never exchanged irl contact info, I wanted to come on here and express my condolences too. I grieve deeply for your families loses. Of the many TAM posters I've interacted with over the time I was on TAM, you were one of the ones I had tremendous respect for, and learned from frequently. The strength of your marriage today is a testament to your strength and character as a person, and I was blessed to have seen you and your wifes relationship grow through these pages. I wish you and your family strength and peace in your time of trial.
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post #49 of 84 (permalink) Old 08-29-2013, 10:45 AM
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Re: I officially declare 2013 a sucky year.

There is a lot of love and support on this thread.

I dig it.



We all wish you warmth and comfort during this time, Larry.

TAMers, you're all superstars!

Last edited by Jellybeans; 08-29-2013 at 10:50 AM.
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post #50 of 84 (permalink) Old 08-29-2013, 10:49 AM Thread Starter
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Re: I officially declare 2013 a sucky year.

Well I'm worried about my oldest but feel good about my second (17 y/o girl and 13 y/o girl).

The oldest is still trying to be "tough" and not react much. We'll figure out how to get it out of her yet.

My MIL was planning on taking the kids up into the mountains to a small lake to camp and fish for a few days before school started. They've made it a tradition for the last few years. So they were getting ready to go, and our 13 y/o just started bawling. I sat with her and held her alone for a good half hour of sobbing. She said that she didn't want to be away from us two.... so we're going to figure out something fun to do with her today. She said that she doesn't like seeing her brother and sister act like it was nothing, and would rather be with us.
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post #51 of 84 (permalink) Old 08-29-2013, 10:51 AM
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Re: I officially declare 2013 a sucky year.

You sound like a good father. It's nice that you have some alternative plans, or are thinking about some to do with her.

She prob just wants comfort in the form of spending time with her family. Aww.
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post #52 of 84 (permalink) Old 08-29-2013, 11:06 AM
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Re: I officially declare 2013 a sucky year.

Larry, I haven't been in this section in awhile, so just saw this thread. I am so sorry for your family. I can't imagine going through this, so far along. My heart goes out to you all.

You can use the 2x4 without adding nails to it.
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post #53 of 84 (permalink) Old 08-29-2013, 04:43 PM
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Re: I officially declare 2013 a sucky year.

Larry I am so sorry for your losses. May you find peace in this time of sadness. I hope there are some support groups in your area - this is not something to go through without some help.

God Bless.
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post #54 of 84 (permalink) Old 08-29-2013, 05:45 PM
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Re: I officially declare 2013 a sucky year.

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Originally Posted by Jellybeans View Post
You sound like a good father. It's nice that you have some alternative plans, or are thinking about some to do with her.

She prob just wants comfort in the form of spending time with her family. Aww.
I can't even imagine what you're going through and to still be there for the rest of your family to help them through...to help each other, you sound like an amazing father.

Music belongs in a place with hearts beating and brains dreaming and people falling in love. - J.Buckley
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post #55 of 84 (permalink) Old 08-29-2013, 11:28 PM
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Re: I officially declare 2013 a sucky year.

I am quite confident Larry that this is exactly where your child ended up, and will be waiting for you whenever it's your turn.



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post #56 of 84 (permalink) Old 08-30-2013, 11:55 AM
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Re: I officially declare 2013 a sucky year.

My heartfelt sorrow goes out to you and your family Larry. I pray for healing for you.
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post #57 of 84 (permalink) Old 08-30-2013, 12:15 PM
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Re: I officially declare 2013 a sucky year.

I'm so sorry - I just opened this thread up. I'm sure any loss of a child is terrible but so close to her due date is utterly heartbreaking, I'm sure. My thoughts are with you and your family.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/family-...-my-story.html

“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer." - Albert Camus
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post #58 of 84 (permalink) Old 08-30-2013, 07:53 PM
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Re: I officially declare 2013 a sucky year.

Larry, I'm hardly ever here can't even remember how I got to this thread. But I'm SO SO sorry for your family's loss. I pray for healing for you. You will be in my thought and prays.
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post #59 of 84 (permalink) Old 08-30-2013, 08:14 PM
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Re: I officially declare 2013 a sucky year.

So very sorry for your losses. I too lost a advanced maternal age pregnancy at 26 weeks in to the pregnancy. It took a very long time to get over and Oct. 25th, still remember. This old bird went on to have 2 healthy boys after the fact. It isn't the solution for everyone and some people chose to wait, but part of my healing was trying to get pregnant as soon as I got the medical go-ahead. I know the feeling of leaving empty handed and putting away the stuff. I also know what is was like explaining to older children. The heart heals, but you never get over the loss of a child. Give your wife a big hug for me and one for you too!
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post #60 of 84 (permalink) Old 08-30-2013, 11:52 PM
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Re: I officially declare 2013 a sucky year.

One of my sisters has 3 beautiful healthy kids who are all now teenagers ages 19 - 17 - and 14, but the process of having them was a really rough one because in between having them there were also 2 miscarriages as well.
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