Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Sin City oddly enough
Re: Do widowers stop loving their first?
I have waited a long time to respond to this thread, sorry to zombie it but I could not do it sooner.
My first wife and I were friends of friends in high school, we were born 4 days and 14 miles apart. We connected the year after high school, and had our DD just after our 20th birthdays. We moved to another city for work and our son was born two years later.
We were having problems when we found out we were pregnant again. Arguing and hurting each others feelings, being bad spouses.
When she had tests done at the OB/GYN she learned she was sick.
We put all talk of separating, aside and supported each other.
After 3 years of struggling she succumbed to multiple illnesses and the mistake of a DR who we never knew. Her DR was on vacation and another DR decided he could save her and did a procedure he botched, causing her to pass 6 months to a year sooner than she otherwise would have.
I was left with a 2 and 7 year old, and a broken heart.
I still love and miss her everyday.
I have remarried and we just had our 16th anniversary.
I still sometimes wake in a cold sweat calling for my first wife.
My current wife says she married me because I showed such a strong ability to give myself totally.
If you truly love it lasts forever, I felt bad for some time not being able to fix my first marriage, but I recognize that I did ok, that I gave and received love and continue to.
I love her. I still do, forever.
It is a waste of time to make someone your priority, who only treats you as an option.