Too young to wonder this.

whathappens13579 · 05-11-2008, 11:33 PM

Hi, my name is Joe, I'm a 17 year old with a beautiful girlfriend. I am in love with her.

We currently are long distance because she moved away. We text and talk on the phone every night and its very hard because we are so young.

I have a very disturbing question. I have looked it up everywhere on the internet and it doesnt seem to be found..

I want to know what's the point of love if when I die, I will never see this girl again. If I marry a woman, and I spend 50+ years with her.. what happens when she dies and I'm alone and thats, that. I wont ever get to see her beautiful face or hold her in my arms. she doesnt exist anymore..

I could spend my whole life with a girl and in the end, we will never be together. nothing matters.

This question is driving me too the extreme.. I think I need some sleep but being with a woman and knowing its for nothing but this life.. that does me no good. Waking up and knowing shes gone forever.. I dont think I can handle that.

Where the **** are you god, wheres your promise to us, i dont want to live in the dark. Why cant you just let us know theirs a forever. Your book means nothing to me, i want your real word. Not this symbolic ****, and the crosses and the church. I want you to tell me.

draconis · 05-13-2008, 10:02 AM

Live for the day, and without love what really is going to replace such a feeling.

If you don't believe in God fine, but think of today, tomorrow and the next. Love will make each and everyday better.

Now as to the question of God and the here after. If you live everyday happy and in love isn't that worth it. Now even for a betting man if there was a possibility of living forever with love would you risk the chance to lose out on it, just becaus you might not achieve it?

draconis

swedish · 05-13-2008, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whathappens13579

she doesnt exist anymore..

This is a strong statement. My mother passed away 15 years ago and I can tell you she isn't that far away. She's there when I struggle with parenting my own 17 year old and think back on how she handled situations. Whether it's your parents, siblings, spouse, children or other important people in your life, what you are able to give and receive from others keeps their spirit alive indefinitely no matter how long they live or your spiritual beliefs. The key is that your life is an opportunity to exist forever in either a positive or negative way for those around you, and it's up to you how much of an impact you make.

SageMother · 05-13-2008, 01:15 PM

You are never too young to think about these issues.

As time goes on, you will find the answers to these questions from within yourself. This is the way it has been since the beginning of time, which is why we have religion and other sources to gain comfort.

Life is a journey. On our paths we find love, and enjoy what it brings to our lives. We mourn many losses during our journey, but we tend to feel that experiencing love is worth more than living without it.

The pleasure, and pain, that found with love, and other life experiences, are part of being fully human. Trust yourself. You will find answers, and comfort, with time.

Chris H. · 05-13-2008, 02:47 PM

My mother has lost two husbands whom she loved very much. The first died in a car accident in his 20's. The second (my father) died from a brain tumor in his late 50's (after 30 years of marriage). I can't imagine going through the pain of losing two spouses in a lifetime, but nonetheless she is a happy woman to this day.

When you get towards the end of your life, I believe you reap what you sow. My mother is only 60 years old (not near the end of her life hopefully) but she has always been a very loving and giving person with a great personality. Because of that, she has a lot of family, mine included, who love to do things with her and spend time with her. She also has a lot of grandchildren that she enjoys getting to see, and likewise, she is their favorite person in the whole world, believe me!

Through living such a full life and being such a warm and generous person, I know that her entire world didn't revolve around my father, and I think that made coping with his death easier. She still has good support and many beautiful people and things in her life.

But was it easy for her? No, not at all. I think it's safe to say that she was probably "depressed" for the first year or two from the grief. I know from my own experience that it has gotten easier with time.

So what does all of this mean as far as an answer to your question goes?

***

Your life can have more meaning than just this "one person."

You and your relationships with others can continue to inspire other people long after you or your spouse passes on.

I carry this poem in my wallet, because it's how I want to live my life, even though I'm sure I fall short on a regular basis:

"Success" by Bessie Stanley

He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often and loved much;
who has gained the respect of intelligent men and the love of little children;
who has filled his niche and accomplished his task;
who has left the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul;
who has never lacked appreciation of earth’s beauty or failed to express it;
who has always looked for the best in others and given them the best he had; whose life was an inspiration; whose memory a benediction.

draconis · 05-13-2008, 08:05 PM

"Winners are losers that got up to give it one more try." ~ Tommy SHaw

juls · 05-15-2008, 05:53 AM

"My life is better left to chance, I could have missed the pain, but then I would have missed the dance"...

The dance is what makes us die happy knowing we had a wonderful life full of love...

GAsoccerman · 05-16-2008, 11:56 PM

Hey Whathappened...

You are going throught eh emotional rollercoaster that is called life, and it is a long bumpy ride.

My wife and I dated 7 years...While in COllege. I was in NJ she was in Pittsburgh...so like you it was a long distance relationship, We did not have Cell phones or the internet back then, just Landline phones, so we talked all the time.

Which probably made our relationship very strong, becuase we are very solid communication wise, also very trusting.

Look at the bright side, she wants to talk to you and chat with you, she is not avoiding you. That is a great sign.

Nothing you can really do here is go day by day and if it works out then great, if not then it won't.

But all I can say is Do not worry about what she is doing, that will drive you nuts, just do your own thing, hang with your friends, enjoy life. Talk to her when you can, get together when you can.

you both may have flings over this time period, but if you keep going back to each other, it is better to get this out of the way while dating then when married.

All I can say is play it loose, enjoy your time together, if your meant to be it will work out in the end.

We dated 7 years, while living in different states, talked alot and flings happened....but now we have been married 11 years, 3 kids and a extremely strong marriage.

Best of luck kid, Ride the rollercoaster and enjoy the thrills.....But you are not doomed.

Also you ahve the joy of phone, video and e-mail sex...be creative and have fun with it.

It's a rollercoaster ride, but a very rewarding one if you do not let Jealousy get the best of you.

Remember it's a Marathon, not a sprint.

Russell · 05-28-2008, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by draconis

"Winners are losers that got up to give it one more try." ~ Tommy SHaw

Of Styx, Damn Yankees... etc etc etc?

And by the way... your own personal feelings for this girl have nothing to do with God. Myself, personally... I feel there is no God. At least not as the Bible tells it. I feel there is an all powerful omnipotent being that enjoys to watch us suffer. The idea of God and Satan were man made... however the teachings in the Bible are to live by.

If you and this girl were meant to be... the two of you will find a way to be together.

SageMother · 05-28-2008, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by draconis

"Winners are losers that got up to give it one more try." ~ Tommy SHaw

"A diamond is a hunk of coal that stayed on the job".....and I have no clue where I got that quote.

berlinlife06 · 06-01-2008, 04:46 PM

Long distances are the worst! I am in a long distance relationship and it sucks! But life goes on, and you should live your everyday and not worry about death. Besides, you think what will happen to you if she dies... what if you die first? Just don't worry. It's not worth it. If you are really in love, you'll survive the separation, but you are only 17. You are both in a situation when change is a sure thing! Life changes you, and you don't have control over many things.

Triton · 07-17-2008, 08:50 AM

You are so in love- Marry her -then after a few years write us back. lol I just love this . lol Oh ,I forgot have a few kids too. You are 17 -what the ? I remember guys like you when I was in the service -probably don't even have your first car, etc. Man, just live and enjoy the moment. Years from now I hope you will remember her name. Rock On !