04-13-2010, 11:37 AM
Join Date: Sep 2009
| | Why is my wife so heartless?
Hi everyone, just when things seem to be getting somewhere something sets me back everytime. Not that this is a set back but I was not ready for this.
My Grandmother had passed away not this pass weekend but Easter sunday weekend. I was very close to her when i was younger, she ended up developing dimensia and pretty much forgot everyone and everything about 10 to 11 years ago. After so long she went into a home, then the money ran out and into a public aid home. I hardly went to see her cause it hurt to much to see her and her not remember anything, not to mention she just sat there like she was sleeping. Though she did make it to my wedding and met her two great grand daughters which are my two daughters.
Just that thrusday before my wifes grandpa had passed away. Now my wife said he would promise stuff and never came through especially presents for occasions. She never really saw him, so i had thought she was not really close or had attachment as much as i had with my grandma.
I had told her that to go to texas to the funeral but she did not want to. I had told her i should talk cause i always say i am going to see my grandma but never do. I told her i should go before something happens and bam, that saturday night it happened. So now i am kinda upset that i did not go not to mention sorta depressed as well with the whole situation.
Now after the funeral i had told my wife i doubt i will ever be the same again, i said that i will be very sad for a long time. Well, yesterday being at work and by myself most of the day i have a lot of time to think. So of course i thought of her and was upset. I talked to the wife but she was kinda busy so i did not say to much besides that i was upset more then i thought i would be still.
So once i am home i am okay, it is being alone and having time to think that kills me. After the kids went to bed, i started to think and was getting upset. I went to my wife and had said this is harder then i had thought, i am still very upset. She tells me "be a man and get over it".
Mind you at the funeral when we were about to leave i was very upset and finally my wife was by me and she actually put her arms around me and patted my back even though she did nothing like that any other time during the wake or funeral.
When i first found out about my grandma my wife said nothing to me. Talk about cold shoulder huh? So i was telling her that i was sorry for all the bad things i have done and that i no longer want to be mean to her and that i feel my grandma is unhappy with me cause of the last 11 years the way i ran my life. So now i want to make her happy by fixing everything but it seems my wife is not on board with me... She does not seem to care.
This morning i had not said a word to her cause of what she said to me last night. It just seems she has really distanced her self from me alot in the past few months. I see so much lack of care from her it worries me that things are not what they seem. I feel like i am living a lie, i feel she does not love me and that things are easier to keep them how they are. Sorta like she is comfortable by being miserable with me then us divorcing and me not there with the kids anymore... From what she has told me she is not sad about her grandpa anymore so i do not think that is the reason for her behavior. any thoughts?