Wife Died Young, Now Loneliness.
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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Dealing with Grief and Loss » Wife Died Young, Now Loneliness.

Dealing with Grief and Loss The grieving process is difficult. When we lose someone close to us, we go through many different emotions.

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Old 12-02-2013, 05:46 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Wife Died Young, Now Loneliness.

By beautiful wife of 4 years (we almost made it to 5) died at age 31. Suddenly from medical complications.
Now its just our daughter and I. Life is the same thing day in, day out. I can't say that I'm board, but Lonely? Yes!
Man did we have a good marriage. Ate together, rarely went to bed mad at one another. Great conversations. Now, there is no one....
My daughter is too little to _______ , I don't know, Have good dinner conversation. She is taking it well... Playing with neighbor kids.
So now I sit by myself and eat my supper.
I try to date just for the company but every one that I have taken out says its too soon!
TOO SOON FOR WHAT? Having a dinner with someone. I have thought about getting a prostitute just for someone to eat with.
I think that Im a good guy. Not a law breaker, Have a job, my own apartment. I hate to lie.
Just to FU^^Ing old to know how to act around women.
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Old 12-02-2013, 05:52 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife Died Young, Now Loneliness.

GPS I'm so sorry for your loss my friend. I could not imagine what that must be like.

But don't be negative. There is another woman out there who is looking for a man like you and who would love to be a mom to your little girl. You just have to keep getting out and socializing. The worst thing you can do is stay home and mope.

Get in shape, eat right, indulge in your hobbies and be the best dad you can be. Keep a positive outlook and attitude and be bold when you talk to women. Women like confidence and directness in men.
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Old 12-02-2013, 08:49 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife Died Young, Now Loneliness.

I'm so very sorry for your loss. How old is your daughter?

There's no need to lie and it's not up to anyone else to decide when is the right time for you.

It is possible that maybe the women whose company you would enjoy, are thinking it's too soon because they know you aren't ready for the same thing they ARE ready for.

Being honest is always best. I'm sure it's uncomfortable but admitting straight up that you aren't even close to being ready but would like some company and companionship, more often then not you'll find women who respect and understand that.
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Old 12-02-2013, 08:59 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife Died Young, Now Loneliness.

I'm sorry, I can't even imagine how hard it must be. Did you seek grief counseling? It can help.

About what others say about it being too soon, they are not the ones hurting or sitting alone. Only you can say how it feels. I've know people that have married in three months and others that never did. There is no right or wrong time, plus I'm sure your wife would want you to be happy. Don't isolate yourself. Unfortunately you learned the hard way that life is short, please do what's best for you and your little one.
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Old 12-03-2013, 10:50 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife Died Young, Now Loneliness.

So sorry for your loss. That is awful. How did she die?

It's going to take time, one day at a time.

Try to surround yourself with a loving a supportive group of people. You could even try therapy or a grief support group.

Schedule fun hobbies with your daughter, get exercise, sunlight and call up old friends.
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Old 12-03-2013, 11:13 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife Died Young, Now Loneliness.

Sorry for your loss, young man! You and your daughter are steadfastly in my prayers. Now is the time for family and friends, and please seek out grief support. If you can't budget it, seek out a good church who is part of a program and they will help not only you, but your lovely little daughter.

You came to the right place here at TAM as the vast majority of the folks here will care about you and your subsequent lonliness!

Granted, we'll talk with you until the cows come home! Give us a try!
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Old 01-03-2014, 09:06 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife Died Young, Now Loneliness.

Quote:
Originally Posted by gps_junky View Post
By beautiful wife of 4 years (we almost made it to 5) died at age 31. Suddenly from medical complications.
Now its just our daughter and I. Life is the same thing day in, day out. I can't say that I'm board, but Lonely? Yes!
Man did we have a good marriage. Ate together, rarely went to bed mad at one another. Great conversations. Now, there is no one....
My daughter is too little to _______ , I don't know, Have good dinner conversation. She is taking it well... Playing with neighbor kids.
So now I sit by myself and eat my supper.
I try to date just for the company but every one that I have taken out says its too soon!
TOO SOON FOR WHAT? Having a dinner with someone. I have thought about getting a prostitute just for someone to eat with.
I think that Im a good guy. Not a law breaker, Have a job, my own apartment. I hate to lie.
Just to FU^^Ing old to know how to act around women.
I am so sorry of your loss....Dh and i have a friend that lost his wife at 40 leaving him and 4 kids behind.......so sad also


I just want to reassure you about your last sentence, you are NOT to old to know how to act around women...You courted and ATTRACTED a wonderful woman to fall in love with you and marry you. That's more than some men ever wish for. You have suffered a tragic loss which means your heart and character has grown significantly!!! That's HUGE!!! Take your time to mourn your young beautiful wife and then when your ready have the confidence and self esteem that you bring a lot to a relationship with a potential new partner...

Prayers to you dear TAM friend, I will pray that 2014 will bring you happiness and contentment.
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Old 01-04-2014, 12:15 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife Died Young, Now Loneliness.

Maybe on your dates if you have to mention you're a widower, tell them you'd rather not talk about it on first dates.
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Old 07-22-2014, 12:45 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife Died Young, Now Loneliness.

My condolences. This has to be a very tough period in your life. You do have your daughter that needs you more than ever.
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Old 07-22-2014, 12:53 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife Died Young, Now Loneliness.

This thread was from 2013 and he hasn't been back.

NECRO
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Old 07-22-2014, 12:55 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife Died Young, Now Loneliness.

I read your other threads. It's been about a year since your wife died. That's not really a very long time. Grief has a life of it's own. My bet is that it's clear that you are depressed and still grieving. The women you have been out with can tell that you are not in a good place to date.

Perhaps you would do better starting with social things to do. Check out Find your people - Meetup and find things that you like to do. Do them and meet both men and women. some of them will turn into friends. Then do things with these friends. Also try out the group Parents Without Partners They have a lot of support and events for people who have children... single and widowed.
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Old 07-22-2014, 12:55 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife Died Young, Now Loneliness.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jellybeans View Post
This thread was from 2013 and he hasn't been back.

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