BROKE LEFT JOB LOVE WIFE SAW HERE 1st TIMe in a month TOTAL LOSS and AT END

marshsc · 11-27-2010, 02:42 PM

Well I will be in the same church tomorrow. I so pray that she would show. I know a moment does not go by without us both thinking on this. Make the right call.
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marshsc · 11-28-2010, 12:37 PM

Guess no church either.
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marshsc · 11-28-2010, 08:05 PM

I guess I go back to utah since wife has not even let me come to house in 40 days. I will get a dog there. A big house and ski and li e good. The plan was for two but I guess ur on your own. Exept for house sale and hidden jrski. All will come in exparte this week. Thanks for forking everyones life.
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marshsc · 11-29-2010, 09:28 AM

Its cold and I hate what has b een done. There is no heart whatsoever in this person. There used to be. But its gone.I don't hate u. I hate what u have become
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marshsc · 11-29-2010, 01:25 PM

In the end. Years down the line. U will think. Sorry u could not do that now. To late for everything. Look deep inside and place blame then. What as it said. I should have never left. Not me. I stayed. Love ya.
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marshsc · 11-29-2010, 01:31 PM

Your loss. Friday I go to UTAH. Sk, have fun, work, make bank. Support kids. 2 could have been better than 1 at age 48. But then again u ask my best friend to ur high school reunion. Wow. And u blame me. Nights are active I am sure. Who I am not sure. Don't care anymore. All is destroyed
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marshsc · 11-30-2010, 03:45 PM

Down to 10 dollars. Checks screwed up I am ready to end it all. Never been this low in all my life. How can one person do this to another. I couldn't. I feel like I want to die. But won't. Will make it back to utah from friends. But only after court. That is what I came here for and I will finish my part if I get nothing. U have to live with what u have done.
Thanks.
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marshsc · 12-01-2010, 10:59 AM

Up and shower. I will say today that I regret all that has happened. I so loved this woman. And don't think I will ever come close to replacing the good side of her or the good memorires. I forgive.
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marshsc · 12-01-2010, 12:48 PM

Mitigation today at one. Wow. She has car I put 5000 on. House my mom bought. Dogs I kept care of 9 months seperated. 78 in big screen tv I bought. All everything and I have lost 3 kids, not hers, mine. Living in truck 45 days. Tent trailer 2 months in utah and u want to make a deal. Not allowed at house 45 days. No income.And u want to deal. WTF. Here is a deal. I pray GOD forgives u for what u have done. I will.
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marshsc · 12-03-2010, 12:31 PM

I am completelyand fully devistated
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marshsc · 12-05-2010, 07:13 PM

Welli am in uTAH. Miss her no matter what. We have talked. I wish more but this is in gods hands now
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marshsc · 12-07-2010, 10:45 AM

I drove to UTAH and am staying in a basement room and really hate this place. I dont get paid from work now till Jan and never recieved disability. I hope I do next week. Hav Dec 26th thru the 2 off but have to be back in LA on the 3rd to check in with probation. I so miss my wife I so do. I told her I was forced to file a Seperation as I knew she would calm later and talk but now she said Divorce. Really Kills me. Coming for a job in UTAH ****ed up my whole life to the point that i am gfoing to either leave where i work and take a position in LA at anything just so I can be home. I am miserable and want to stay in the bed all day. Work is supper slow here and I just dont see me here long.

Signed missing you and the Dogs and Home.

marshsc · 12-07-2010, 10:48 AM

Being here is not worth the pain that I have here. back and forth for a few more dollars and not seeing kids or my home. I say my wife twice in a 2 month period and cant wait to I see her again. Even if by accident . At lieast if I waas there I would have a possibility of maybe seeing here. I hurt.

marshsc · 12-11-2010, 12:24 PM

I hate uTAh. But have to find a job first
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marshsc · 12-11-2010, 01:08 PM

I am getting a room today. Been here a week with friend. My heart bleeds daily. Alone 1100 miles from what I know. Wife was going to come out first two weeks I was here but I think there was a bigger plan and I was to stupid to see it. So now I ponder wtf to do. I Hate this place for what has happened to me from making the call to come here. I really despse it more than anything on earth. This blog is the only outlet I have. Wife won't listen or have feelings as nothing has changed for her. Its only gotten better for her. More money. Class. House. Dogs all the kids there all the time. Its like she has a spot in her heart that can blot out the pain I knows she knows I ha e here. Just did oil change and two used front tires and brakes soon I feel. But my truck is my home now in a big way. 5 months now and she does not care at all. Dogs are ok and daughter. She has many family to support her. I ha ve nothing
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