BROKE LEFT JOB LOVE WIFE SAW HERE 1st TIMe in a month TOTAL LOSS and AT END - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
Dealing with Grief and Loss The grieving process is difficult. When we lose someone close to us, we go through many different emotions.

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post #46 of 139 (permalink) Old 12-11-2010, 01:21 PM Thread Starter
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Re: BROKE LEFT JOB LOVE WIFE SAW HERE 1st TIMe in a month TOTAL LOSS and AT END

So what do I do. People say buck up. I have 5 months thru a hell no one wants. How do I stay strong from here. How do I sit christmass alone in my room. Hotel. I am low of low these days

Job or not. Its not worth it
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post #47 of 139 (permalink) Old 12-11-2010, 01:33 PM Thread Starter
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Re: BROKE LEFT JOB LOVE WIFE SAW HERE 1st TIMe in a month TOTAL LOSS and AT END

My truck is packed to the hilt and I ****ing hate this life here. If it was my wife for now telling me this I woul go on disability as she did before and we lived off what my mom left me to cover that time off when she had throat problems. But when it comes to me her husband that gave up kids ans all house property and house there is no remorse. If I look back, we both have parts. But now its all me. I am told u have to do some things u don't want to sometimes ,xxxxx. Well if I really look back. No christmass last 3 years. No nothing. River parties. Nothing at all. How can u fork someone so hard he looses 3 kids and house and job. How can u look ans see where u are and place everything on others an lie alway. Yes lie. Over and over and still smile on the outside. Destruction to the point the person wants to die and has 3 kids and does not carre. "Crying now yes I am".
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post #48 of 139 (permalink) Old 12-11-2010, 01:52 PM Thread Starter
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Re: BROKE LEFT JOB LOVE WIFE SAW HERE 1st TIMe in a month TOTAL LOSS and AT END

I sit and think all day alone. Daily alone. Miss kids, dogs and wife. Wife first. I think to the good days and wonder. What destroyed it all. What devistated me. I in my heart think it was me. Yes me. I kicked out a boyfriend of daugjter that led to her moving out so her daughter could have a live in bf at 16. I have kids 4 that includes her daughter. But allowing that when I had a felloney and he was a runaway would send me to prison. Not happening. So I kicked out after wife told me to mind my own biz when I asked about him and then lied when I asked if his parents knew where he was. So who is at fault. Awaf live in. Who allows that. Not I.
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post #49 of 139 (permalink) Old 12-11-2010, 02:06 PM Thread Starter
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Re: BROKE LEFT JOB LOVE WIFE SAW HERE 1st TIMe in a month TOTAL LOSS and AT END

I don't blame her. I filed seperation and she filed divorce in the reply. Broke me heart really as I txted her after a long drive I do monthly and live in truck when rthere even though I bought house. How can this be u say. A wonan can get a now harraement r order over a word. Then the man looses all even though he is a good man and still loves even though 1100 miles away. She sits with everything he did for he. TV. CAR. HOUSe. Painted rooms and wished and hoped. KILLED to be forced to live 1100 miles away from even his kids. Will update dailt. Signed. LOST
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post #50 of 139 (permalink) Old 12-11-2010, 02:22 PM Thread Starter
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Re: BROKE LEFT JOB LOVE WIFE SAW HERE 1st TIMe in a month TOTAL LOSS and AT END

I am still sitting here. 3 hours now waithing for a forking hotel room. **** this really. I would rather make less and go home. Yes a apt since wife won't allow me in house my mom bought
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post #51 of 139 (permalink) Old 12-12-2010, 02:36 PM Thread Starter
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Re: BROKE LEFT JOB LOVE WIFE SAW HERE 1st TIMe in a month TOTAL LOSS and AT END

I am hit. Depressed. Damaged. Destroyed. I ****ing hate my life. I wish I was dead. Living in a motel room. 1100 miles from home. Thank you hunny I want to kill myself.
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post #52 of 139 (permalink) Old 12-12-2010, 02:45 PM Thread Starter
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Re: BROKE LEFT JOB LOVE WIFE SAW HERE 1st TIMe in a month TOTAL LOSS and AT END

If anything happens to me. Please make sure my oldest son gets my truck
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post #53 of 139 (permalink) Old 12-12-2010, 07:55 PM Thread Starter
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Re: BROKE LEFT JOB LOVE WIFE SAW HERE 1st TIMe in a month TOTAL LOSS and AT END

I think back to everything and ev en my wife took my phone and my flas drive. She gave my phone to her daughtys BF and my # so I had to go buy a new phone. Also turned off my sons at the same time. I know some day I will be past this all and I hope it is soon as its killing me now.
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post #54 of 139 (permalink) Old 12-13-2010, 07:21 AM Thread Starter
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Re: BROKE LEFT JOB LOVE WIFE SAW HERE 1st TIMe in a month TOTAL LOSS and AT END

Well its monday and the weekend is past. Thank god. I can't handle these days alone. Wife now says fork the mod and let the house sell. We could save it but she gets mad b ecause I say somethin. Like she always has said. She holds all the cards. I hold nothing. Its always been this way.
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post #55 of 139 (permalink) Old 12-13-2010, 09:11 AM Thread Starter
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Re: BROKE LEFT JOB LOVE WIFE SAW HERE 1st TIMe in a month TOTAL LOSS and AT END

So now no modifificatio and house and all goes unless she comes to her senses. Sad it is. I will never see home again unti its sold and have to move it all.
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post #56 of 139 (permalink) Old 12-13-2010, 01:24 PM Thread Starter
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Re: BROKE LEFT JOB LOVE WIFE SAW HERE 1st TIMe in a month TOTAL LOSS and AT END

I think I may have to pack and leave. I cant take Christmas and all alone.
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post #57 of 139 (permalink) Old 12-13-2010, 01:57 PM Thread Starter
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Re: BROKE LEFT JOB LOVE WIFE SAW HERE 1st TIMe in a month TOTAL LOSS and AT END

I am dying here in UTAH. I am going to more than likely take a job in la to see my kids. I can't live my life sitting in one room alone. Either that of I will self destruct. To much damage. To much hurt. Why did I come here. With the hopes wife would follow. I am just fo freeking at a loss. I feel so bad. Christmass and house and kids gone. No family. Nothing
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post #58 of 139 (permalink) Old 12-13-2010, 01:58 PM Thread Starter
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Re: BROKE LEFT JOB LOVE WIFE SAW HERE 1st TIMe in a month TOTAL LOSS and AT END

Someone please tell me how to carry on
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post #59 of 139 (permalink) Old 12-14-2010, 03:40 PM
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Re: BROKE LEFT JOB LOVE WIFE SAW HERE 1st TIMe in a month TOTAL LOSS and AT END

Do you have any family/friends in the LA area that can put you up for a few months? I know you are feeling really low, and it sounds like staying in Utah will do nothing to help your situation. Why not go back to LA and look for work there? At least you have your kids nearby? Also, if there is any way you can get some counseling, do. Things will look up when you are able to look forward...but I understand you are in the midst of a really bad time right now and still wondering why...but it will get better....please trust in that for now & please call a hot-line if you are thinking of ending your life...1-800-273-8255...you still have three kids that love you very much.

~Swedish

No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.
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post #60 of 139 (permalink) Old 12-14-2010, 04:11 PM Thread Starter
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Re: BROKE LEFT JOB LOVE WIFE SAW HERE 1st TIMe in a month TOTAL LOSS and AT END

No I am in UTAH only looking for work. That is it. I have a room now and I am talking to my wife which is good. I dont really understand why this all happened also other than 3 things. 1. we were seperated for over to months and I talked to 3 girls that were going thru kinda a situation that was close. 2. She was hired and we were not talking alot on details and I talked to a girl at work about it. 3. She accessed my computer while I was in the shower and saw that I posted two things on this site and that started the spiral. She cut off her phone and toldme to stay in UTAH. Yes it has been hard and I pray that in 6 months she does not follow thru the Divorce and we both get past this and get the house modified and I find a job in cali so i can come home. I MISS HER SO. She is my best friend and the most beautiful woman that i ever met and smart also. So I can only go to my room now and have faith that there is a GOD watching and seeing this and he can fix anything. Maybe redue the vows and mean it this time and stop the fighting that has destructed us. I really dont know anything other than I will never replace her. I MISS YOU BABY, if you reading this.
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