BROKE LEFT JOB LOVE WIFE SAW HERE 1st TIMe in a month TOTAL LOSS and AT END

marshsc · 11-19-2010, 01:45 PM

I saw my wife ar a bar after she kicked me out of house.sent me to utah and expected me to die there while she took house my dead mom put three hundred thgousand down on. We b oth crying saying we loved each other. But her family rules thoughts while I came b ack from job on disability living in truck to try and stop forclosure of house that she will not allkow me at no matter what. I am on probation from issues and have to frly b ack monthly. All that has been done has killed me inside but I still love her and why. I have a heart. She moved back in a week before I left after 10 month seperation and I talked to other girls. Was getting nothing from her and she wonders why I talked , not ****ed but talked. No we arwe at a total war. All will be lost. I am alive and she knows I am living in truck 2x days but does not care. Why do I care. Becauyse I love the woman.I said I will come home find a new job but miss home. UTAh alone in tent trailer 2 months was not home. I am lostand bad. Everything going over greed. She has family amd mom and I have 3 kids I have lost now and no home and no job and hurt to the opoint I want to go there. Scared. Gurt. Amazed depressed. GOD help Me.
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marshsc · 11-21-2010, 12:24 PM

It rained all night, Was cold and at 3am had to go find a restroom as eating from the 99 cent store is not good. I have to stay here timm the 4th of Dec and wonder how i will live. Disability did not pay and I am Forked. Wow andd she sent me a text on the New # that she changed to and then called me last night and I did not get6 the call as I am taking 5 sleeping pills a night to sleep. Life reallllllllly suckkkkkkkks now.

marshsc · 11-21-2010, 12:35 PM

Broke hand Probation. Lost everything, Sorrow, Missing her, missing the love we had. Not sure will ever replace, Sure I can never replace. WTF happened. i think she said it the last time I was there. Shje said I should never have left. That is it. I would never have talked to other girrls if she was there
I would never have left california if she was there. I would never have done anything but loved her if she was there. I AM SQAD COLD TIRED OF LIVING IN TRUCK. TIRED OF LAWYERS. TIRED OF IT ALL. All she had to do was say IO love you and support u, come home and I would have worked 3 jobs. SIGNED LOST

marshsc · 11-23-2010, 10:42 AM

Now I sit here at the beach the day before thanksgiving, broke, no home, no kids. She is upset over multiple things. Job, talk, this web site. What did she think I would do when I was kicked out of house I just let her into afterr 9 month seperation and me being stranded in UTAH and she kicks me to the road and cuts off her phone. Sit there in utah an hope everything is ok at the house my mom paid for. I call bank and am amazed. I left work come back. Told not to come to house anymore.tried to have me arrested multiple times falsely. And I let her back gladly seeing she was evicted from her apt and within two months I am treated like this. I had no choice. My heart will be broken forever after this. Miss seeing the dogs, the kids. The parties Remember the walks we used to take. Times at work making love at lunch. River trips for tatoes. She has my name on her back and I have her on my arm. This is really the saddest time of my life and I am sure hers also. There will be nothing left from house after lawyers bail. Bonds bills. Realestate guy. Don't want to go back to utah , might take job here. Could have done that in the beginnibg but now I just feel like I am dead. More to follow. Love u wife.
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swedish · 11-23-2010, 12:18 PM

Do you have family that could help you right now? Meaning, brothers, sisters, dad, etc.? I am sorry to hear you are at such a low point right now. Hang in there.

marshsc · 11-24-2010, 12:39 PM

No. Mom and dad dead. Sister dead. I make it day by day. Shower at gym. I have to checkin with probation once a month on the 3rd so can't go back now. Can't afford room so I am truck bound. Have a few friends I stay at here and there but don't want to bring drama to them. I did not file divorce I filed seperation if that says anything. All she had to do was say come home. Ur not happy. I am at a total loss and can only express my feelings here. I so love this woman and she stated same to me when I saw her at the b ar. fork I miss her. I inhereted over six hundred thgousand and it seem when that was gone we were but I know in my heart I will always wait and hope someday when kids are gone as she always said. If she did not care then why did she hit this site 70 pluss times after she kicked me out for talking to girls. Wha did she expect after 9 month seperation and no nothing but she says I so loved u. Why did u not show it. Why.so now sale house. Seadoo. All is lost.
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marshsc · 11-24-2010, 12:44 PM

No. No one. Me. I am dead.
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marshsc · 11-24-2010, 12:49 PM

Well not dead b ut feel like it. I can take a jo b here but no insurance for kids and 13000 lower. Ihave to return to utah. Dec 3. I will do nothing but look for work once there to get back to my kids and hope I get to see her.
I hate my life. Cry daily. Wonder daily. Stopped facebook as no one wants this pain. I don't. I am so forking sad
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marshsc · 11-24-2010, 12:55 PM

I don't eat. Don't sleep. Worry. Depressed. Destroyed. Once she said " just stop". I did. I wanted to come home. She has the choice. Divorce or seperation. I know what I want. But I know her family and daughter rule. Time will I hope heal this but I am not sure. Signed. Lost without you.
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marshsc · 11-24-2010, 01:08 PM

Thanksgiving tomorrow. I have nothing left to be thankful for. Like she said last convesation on the phone. I ****ed up. I left to utah. But I thought she was coming. Now all is dead. I am scared
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marshsc · 11-24-2010, 02:56 PM

Every moment of my day thinks of u.
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marshsc · 11-24-2010, 02:57 PM

Just kill me it would be easier than this
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Powerbane · 11-24-2010, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marshsc

Just kill me it would be easier than this
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Dude that may seem like an option but it's not.

Your life is a gift. I know you're hurting out there. It will get better. I've been there too. Living in a damn shed for 6 months. Working 3 jobs no sleep incredible pressures.

It got better. Work on yourself. Get straight with the law, yourself and God. It's easy to sit around and throw pity parties for yourself. The hard part is getting up and making the effort to live.

Read through threads here on this site. There is so much useful information and people willing to help. Just ask. Go find a local church or charity. Volunteer yourself. I guarantee you will find others 10 times more worse off.

I wish you well but you have to pull yourself out of whatever mess you're in.
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marshsc · 11-24-2010, 03:43 PM

Police say I can press charges since she stole my zip drive and accessed all accounts and I know she did over 70 hite on this site. 1st five were with my old password but I changed it and the site sent me her ip. Traced right to her knot knowing it weas her. But do I press charges for identity theft like the officer said I should. No. I would rather die first. Might be close. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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marshsc · 11-25-2010, 11:19 AM

I don't want to go to utah. I want to sale house. Get apt. Have wife I don't have family guilding me. I have my head and my heart. Right now they are all forked up. 4 days of holiday in truck. Wow.
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