Friend Died - Talk About Marriage
Dealing with Grief and Loss The grieving process is difficult. When we lose someone close to us, we go through many different emotions.

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post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-17-2014, 07:43 PM Thread Starter
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Friend Died

My friends took their annual anniversary vacation this week. While there, the H suddenly and traumatically died, the day after their anniversary.

I haven't been as physically close (seeing them often etc) as I had been, neither had H, and that doesn't matter. It hurts, and I can't imagine the pain the W is feeling now. This was the last thing anyone in our circle of friends expected.

They're the best example of a happy marriage I've ever seen. I'm heartbroken for her. I'm also resolved to do every single thing I can to improve my marriage, as is H. It's hit us both hard. We've already done some work (edited to add: over the past few months), but had a brief talk today reminding ourselves why we became friends with this couple: we wanted what they have...a fantastic marriage.

I'd like to think H would be thrilled to know that his joy in life and overwhelming love, compassion and devotion to his wife was the example we are using to learn to be the same way ourselves.

We plan on doing whatever the W asks to support her right now, and always. My friends who are widows have offered some amazing insight and guidance today so that I don't step on toes or hurt feelings.

I'm so sad.


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Last edited by TikiKeen; 05-17-2014 at 07:45 PM. Reason: clarity
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post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-17-2014, 08:12 PM
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Re: Friend Died

I'm sorry for your loss, it's understandable that you are shocked and sadden. What a tragedy!

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post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-18-2014, 02:06 PM
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post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-18-2014, 02:10 PM
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Re: Friend Died

so sorry

One of the reasons I probably screw all my relationships in my 20's http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-...stay-kids.html
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post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-18-2014, 02:32 PM
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Re: Friend Died

I am sorry for your loss.

"I'm significant!! Screamed the dust speck." - Bill Watterson

"And this, too, shall pass away."
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post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-18-2014, 02:57 PM
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Re: Friend Died

I'm so sorry for your loss.
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post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-19-2014, 08:31 PM
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Re: Friend Died

Really so sorry for everyone.

Death has its way of bringing out some good in us.

Hopefully she will find a healthy way to cope!!!
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post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-19-2014, 08:40 PM
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post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-19-2014, 08:45 PM
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Re: Friend Died

Very sad .....I'm extremely sorry.

Music belongs in a place with hearts beating and brains dreaming and people falling in love. - J.Buckley
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post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-20-2014, 10:38 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Friend Died

His wife has arranged a community jam in his honor later this month (he was a musician and Episcopal Deacon), and they've decided on private burial and public memorial. Seems right in line with how they lived: great boundaries.


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post #11 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-21-2014, 01:41 AM
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Re: Friend Died

between my lurking when I was in my most misogynistic phase in my life (after years of standing the craziness of my mother) I ended in a page dedicated for women who had lost their husbands, the things I saw written there made me cry and regain a little of faith in marriage again, I am really sorry about your friend lost, I know that there really are marriages that are close to perfect and I can not imagine the lost that your friend is feeling.

One of the reasons I probably screw all my relationships in my 20's http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-...stay-kids.html

Last edited by manticore; 05-21-2014 at 02:00 AM.
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post #12 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-21-2014, 02:00 AM
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Re: Friend Died

That is so very sad. My condolences.
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post #13 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-21-2014, 03:31 AM
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Re: Friend Died

Very sorry. My condolences.

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post #14 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-29-2014, 05:16 PM
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Re: Friend Died

I'm very sorry for your loss. Your friend will certainly need your love and support. She may have a hard time letting you know how to help. Some times, we have to take some risk, and find a way to help. You talking with her, and showing your love by just being there will mean a great deal to her.
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post #15 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-30-2014, 02:17 AM
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Re: Friend Died

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lifer View Post
I'm very sorry for your loss. Your friend will certainly need your love and support. She may have a hard time letting you know how to help. Some times, we have to take some risk, and find a way to help. You talking with her, and showing your love by just being there will mean a great deal to her.
Sometimes just being a listening ear does wonders for the grieving heart.
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