I am having a really hard time today. It was 6 years ago today that we got the call. My selfish self wanted to go to a town 60 miles away to have my stomach checked out. We were in the mall and my mom gets a call saying dad was in the hospital and we had to get home asap! No one would tell us that he had passed away, until the way back my grandma told me that he did not make it. It felt as if someone reached in and grabbed my heart and ripped it out. Seeing my father on that table was the hardest thing I ever saw!! My mom would of been here in town to say goodbye if it wasnt for me. My father was my mothers world! Everything changed that day!!! I miss him more today then ever before. My girls will never get to know my father. Haleigh was almost 4 months old when he passed. SHe was his pride and joy!! I look at my baby Michaela, almost 2, and think of how my father would of loved her so much! My girls will never see how amazing he was! Why is the only question I have is why!! WHY HIM? Why not some child molestor? Why the good guys? I dont understand and its 6 years later! I know he is here watching over my girls! I can feel his warmth!! I LOVE YOU DADDY!!!!!! MAY YOU REST IN PEACE!!!
Hugs to you, hun. Don't blame yourself because you wasn't there. Things happen that we have no control over, and you had no idea this was going to happen. You will see your father again, and your kids will know him.. you can bet on it, love.
Here is a song that I hope will help heal your pain.
I lost my father in '67, mother in '84, first brother 11 years ago, 2nd brother 4 years ago. I'm the "oldest". Death is a natural part of life. GET OVER IT!
I have compassion. My brother died from a heart attack 4 years ago. Another from suicide 11 years ago. I'm over it, but I do miss them and all that they could have seen (kids growing up, etc.). To spend 6 (or more) years feeling bad suggests couseling would be very effective. There seem to be some unresolved issues.
Losing a father is very difficult. My father passed away in 2003, and I still get sad sometimes when I think about the things we did together or wish he were still around today. It's not something I dwell on, but I would be lying to say I was "over it."
sometimes people come here for empathy...maybe along the way they are able to help someone else if they hang around long enough...networks work that way.
sometimes grieving people don't WANT to "get over it." the grieving process allows for grief. maybe NOT getting over it helps move the process forward in a healthy grieving process...thereby helping them "get over it" in due time...
my advice: get over it when you're ready to get over it..but you are welcome to grieve here...just pay it forward when you can...fair enough???
i am approaching the 5 yr mark. I did the same thing....threw myself into my work so i could "get over it"
Dcrim, I would be willing to let you come over and punch me in the face, cut me with broken glass and pour salt in the wounds. I would let you do that for days if i thought that would help me "get over it". For the most part i am productive. i work, earn a great living good to my kids. Inside i am sad, mad and miss him.
R.I.P Dad 
