It sounds like your daughter's fatalism is a coping mechanism. It's got to be so hard on her. No parent wants to contemplate the possibility of their child dying before them, so she might just be steeling herself for the worst and of course hoping it doesn't come to pass.
I hope the biopsy results are in his favor...
You could be right and I sure can't imagine how she feels inside as she never wants to talk about it with me as we aren't very close, no matter how hard I try to be helpful. Just so many things involving her Dad and his cheapness in the past and things he has said that were wrong has made her turn against both of us. Me for now dealing with the PTSD of the affair he had 25 yrs. ago that has come back to haunt me again, since I never got my questions answered and don't know the total truth. Both daughter's blame me and she especially since she lives in the same city, yet we hardly ever see her and we aren't included in anything unless its Christmas or something. She only does things with her 3 son's and husband and never includes us and we live 10 minutes away and if she ever comes over she complains that it's a long drive. We've tried to iron it out, but she doesn't want to talk about what happened in the past, so it never gets cleared up.
I love her and so does her Dad and they are both very much alike. They like to both shove things under the rug, just like the affair that he has done both 25 yrs. ago and again now.
She has raised her whole family to think positive, not to show emotions, like crying in front of each other, maybe like when my grandson found out he cried on the phone to his Mom & Dad and she cried when she told me, as I did also. My H didn't,but he was really upset, but he never cries either, even when his Mom & Dad passed away. Then it's right away, a stiff upper lip and we are going to all think positive and get through this as positive thoughts help the body heal. I don't disagree with that, but I think sometimes you need to let the tears flow that are bottled up inside of you. My grandson didn't talk to us for almost a week after the news as he was afraid that I might cry on the phone, which I would have and he couldn't handle that. So all we could do was send him messages showing our love and support. She doesn't want any questions from us as she says it's all covered and he's in the best hands possible. Yet she talks to her sister probably every day and converses with her all the time.
It's just the way she is. Is she suffering inside, I'm sure they all are, but no one wants to talk about there feelings in there family. They all have a deep sense of faith and that's what they are relying on, as am I. I pray all the time for my grandson and his twin brother, who is studying for the bar at this difficult time. He takes it on the 30th. of this month and has to pass it or he will lose his job. Missed it by 2 points like I said, but did pass the National one, it's the state that is the hardest. Thank God his brother passed it before this happened.
I don't understand why there is not any rush on my grandson's testicular cancer in the lymph nodes. It grows very fast, so you would think there would be some urgency. I guess I need to read more about it and see if there is any more risk associated with waiting? It's not going to change anything, but it might give me more peace of mind, yet my grandson is trying to work, is tired and you know he just wants to get on with this, find out the results as it has to be worrying him.
Anyway, it's all so sad and overwhelming for all of us. Now I just found out yesterday that my 94 yr. old Dad is having to be moved out of the Assisted living facility in another city as they claim they can't give him the level of care that he needs with his falls getting worse and his dementia, so I'm trying to locate Asst./dementia homes in his city that can take him and he's going to be devastated when we have the doctor talk to him, as that was how it was suggested by the social workers to do. Then we will talk to him also. It's not a very good situation and I'm handling it to find the place long distance. So one more thing to add to everything that is going on. I just wished I lived close to my Dad, instead of 9 hrs. away as I could look at them myself and be of comfort to Dad. I will be going home to help them move, which I pray that it's not going to be during the same time as my grandson's chemo starts and that's a possibility. Lord give me the strength to get through all this and also the family.
Sorry this is so long, it's just been a long day or 2 days.