Ali07!

My husband and I recently got married in June of 2010 and a few months before that found out that his dad had cancer. He went through vigorous treatment and they thought he was doing better and then one week at the end of Jan he ended up in the hospital with pneumonia. He ended up passing away a few weeks later. This past weekend my husband told me that he was no longer happy with the way our relationship was going. He said he still loved me and that he wanted to try to work things out; however, he currently was not happy. He told me that it had to do with our sex life and the fact that he feels that he never got his bachelorhood when he was younger. We met freshman year of high school which meant no random hook ups for me or being a bachelor in high school or college. I think that his fathers death has something to do with it because I think it is making him rethink his life and how he is living it; however, he tells me that that is not really it. I don't believe him. I told him I really want to go to counseling because I think it would be good for the both of us and he just said he would think about it. Has anyone else had this kind of experience after death. I feel like if he really wanted to work on our relationship he would go to counseling to help us.

friendly

Everybody only has one life to live.
When he started to ask whether he wants to live in a sexless marriage with you forever and then he would regret about it at the moment when he's about to bite the dust. So, "death" will make anyone to re-think about life. Death made him wonder what should be pursued and fulfilled in the rest of his life...
My little advice: Have a great sexual life with your husband! Maybe really brushing up your bedroom skills, being hot, sexy, and playful for the man you love can help change his mind, hope it's not too late for him!

Ali07!

I know I hope it isn't too late either. He keeps assuring me that he is not going to leave me and that he wants to work everything out and I hope I can believe him. I am working hard on trying to spruce up our sex life. I have gotten off the pill and am now working out so that I feel more comfortable. I thank you for the advice and encouragement. Thank you.

Michelle S.

I do think it would be important to seek a counselor's help who can help both of you gain perspective of the situation. When one partner complains about sex it is not necessarily this the only issue that is going on. It may have to do with his father's death or it may not. You are newly married and going through a life cycle experience of losing a loved one which changes your relationship and how you see things. I think deep down there might be another issue at hand,that might come at bay if you both seek counseling. Maybe starting out by going to a group for couples at a local church or local counseling center can help both of you see that there are other couples out there experiencing similar issues.Best of luck to you.