Losing a parent............. - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
Dealing with Grief and Loss The grieving process is difficult. When we lose someone close to us, we go through many different emotions.

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post #46 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-11-2015, 09:34 AM
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Re: Losing a parent.............

Originally Posted by karole View Post
Father's Day is going to be very sad this year without my dad. Every year, my brother, sister and I would have a cook-out/pool party at my house on Father's Day. One of daddy's favorite things in the world was for our family to get together. The more people that came, the happier he'd be. He grew up in a huge family (had 11 brothers and sisters), so he enjoyed everyone getting together. My siblings and I have decided to go forward with the cookout this year. We will spend the day having fun and talking about and remembering daddy. I know he will be looking down and proud that we are continuing to enjoy being a family.
Father's Day is to recognize fathers. Whether here on earth or up in heaven.

“You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.”
― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road
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post #47 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-12-2015, 02:45 PM
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Re: Losing a parent.............

Hi karole

I discovered and read your threat last night (I do not know why it seems that I always read these types of thread at night, in a quiet house, with the only light coming from the monitor - where the written words seem to have a greater emotional impact (lol)). Some thoughts and reflections.

My parents died within a relatively short period of each other – my Mom suddenly and unexpectedly and my Dad after a time dealing with a serious illness. Not being a religious man, what gave me peace, was the belief that one still ‘lives on’ as long as one is remembered. I reckon with my siblings and our children, my parents will be part of cherished memories for at least sixty years more. I also believe part of us continues on in our children and beyond. Notwithstanding facial/body resemblances, it is sometimes as simply as observing a parent’s mannerism in one of our children. Not I of course, as I had vowed that I would never be like my parents (lol).

After my Mom died, my family could not decide what to do with the ashes. When my Dad died, for some unknown reason, I decided to talk a walk in my hometown cemetery – something I have never done before. I was surprised at the number of my friends’ parents, who were in turn friends of my parents, who were at rest. I quickly came to the realization that this was the place for my parents, among those who knew them. When I return to my hometown, I always visit this cemetery to not only to pay my respects to my parents but to the parents of my friends. It is comforting to know that my friends do the same thing.

Although, there was much grief for both parents, the grief gradually transformed into happy memories. A decade later, there is still much cheer and happy reflections when my siblings and I gather and tell stories of our childhood and of our Mom and Dad to the sometime amusement of our children.

Karole, IMHO I believe your approach to the upcoming Father’s day is a healthy one. After all what is a better way to remember a good life than with happy stories and laughter in a loving family gathering. Our Dads would not have it any other way.


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post #48 of 48 (permalink) Old 06-12-2015, 02:53 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Losing a parent.............

Thank you for your very kind Post Joe.
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