lee1973

Hi My name is Lee

I met my wife when i was 19 she was 3 yrs older and had told her husband that they were threw after an affair on his part and she had 2 children, after a very quick time she left him and we moved in together and got married 2 yrs later.
Our marriage was always a struggle to start with me being young and her being my first real love i was not wise to the ways of the world and she was alot more strong willed than me but i'm calm and caring so it calmed her down to. then we had a son so everything was hard work but good.
after 11 yrs we seperated and i lived with my mom for 3 yrs but we were always still together like husband and wife just not in the same house so i moved back in and things were great for 2 yrs.
Then last summer it all came crashing down she hit 40 and changed she wanted more from life and i was so settled that i couldn't or didn't know how to change my life to make this happen, i moved out to a place on my own and for 2 weeks we had hardly any contact but then she started to meet me and 4 weeks later it was like we where dependant on each other again, she was finding it very hard money wise to cope and she kept saying that she had made a mistake and we can work it out so i moved back after just 7 wks apart.
Now just 11 months later i'm here 4 weeks ago we agreed that it was over and i am going to move out again at the end of august but i found a message on her facebook from a guy that made me confront her she said they talk on facebook alot and he gets her but thats all.
2 days ago i found out from someone that they see each other all the time when ever she can and has deleted me and the children of facebook so we don't know anything.
I confronted her again and though see says they have not been together. but yes she does see him now but we both agreed our marriage was done.
We had agreed that if anyone else came into our lives they would let the partner know first but she bare faced lied and lied till i managed to get some truth out of her.
I do think they have been together (but thats just me)
All i know is this women she is everything to me.I dont even know how to be without her and that scares me so much that i may be heading to a very dark place. I'm so very heartbroken that the women i love has changed so much. and i know now that it will not be like last time we split as she has someone else now to depend on.
and i have to find the energy from somewhere to say friends for the kids sake when all i can think about is her and him. I'm lost