07-27-2011, 06:25 AM
Join Date: Jun 2011
| | Marriage over/I'm still on our house though and seeing pictures...
Hi, I'm working from home this week as my wife told me on Sunday that the spark is just not there and she is just not the same person she was many years ago. We were married 9 years, dating 13 and I am 37 she is 35 now.
She has moved out since the start of June to see if she could get her head sorted but it never happened and now it's over.
My questions are:
Should I change the pictures etc at this stage (day 3)? We had no kids due to a physical constraint so the walls are full of pictures of her and me and her at birthdays etc etc. When I see them I'm breaking down. she is out of the house and took no pictures or anything from "us". I am left in a house of memories (good ones though) but should I change things like the pictures and put up pictures of me and my friends and family which would make me happier?
also, she has not yet moved all her stuff out so her earrings are still on the bedside locker and her teddybears that I bought her when she was sick many years ago are still there and it breaks my heart when I see them.
Should I be leaving all this stuff as it is, looking at it, crying and realising that it is a process, or should I be putting the house in a place where it makes it easier for me to live?
I've no real choice but to move on and realise I did my best in my marriage and I treated her really well, but now I need to put that in the past, move on myself and worry only about me and how I can make myself happy.
My only concern is that I believe it's important to grieve but do I need her pictures, her clothes, her perfume, her mugs and plates and bowls and paintings as a constant reminder?
It feels like the house is still "ours" when it is in this way. I need to start making the house "mine".
What do you think oh wise internetters?